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Joan, on an airplane, strikes up a conversation with the geeky computer programmer sitting next to her. "Where

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

How many programmers does it take to screw in a

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

There were three astronauts an American, a Russian,

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from

1) Compassionativity is not a word. 2) Social

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

Q: Will I be reincarnated? A: Not unless there

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

What is the first programming language you learn

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

How many programmers does it take to screw in a

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

In prison you spend the majority of your time in

20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's

At a southern university, students in the psychology

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first

    BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

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Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this computer virus. It

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to

Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life

If you had bought $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron,

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......" 1. You take your dog for

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down

Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Description Missus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV

If you had bought $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With

ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual

A blonde was listening to Two men at a party talking about the recent space program. not wanting to

An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful

A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents

Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason