Jokes
Viagra and Ben Gay
A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight.
Chick With Long Legs
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and
Man vs Woman
RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and
Two Twenties
A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt.
Blonde Bet
A blonde and a brunette are in a bar. As they order
Saddam Hussein and George Bush are seated ...
Saddam Hussein and George Bush are seated next
Arkansas Scholars
Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,
Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for Women: Pull up to
50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden...
Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited
Workplace Farting: Options Explored
Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking
God Made Eve First
In this world God made Eve first and one day he
Valentine's Day Surprise
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's
The Paperboy
A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of
Little Johnny's Subsitute Teacher
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.
Elephant Time
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking
Feels Like a Fanny
Two old friends/enemies who love to take the piss
Rating Your Christmas Party
If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do
Millionaire's Party Guest
A millionaire decides to throw a massive party
Blonde lumberjack
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune
Cheap Cat
One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich
Tough Love
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin
Naughty Nuns
A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish.
The Salesman's Scoreboard
A travelling salesman is out in the country selling
The Blonde and the Zipper
A young man is at a bus stop in New York. He sees
The Deacon and the Preacher
There once was this deacon and this preacher, and
Proof That Santa Doesn't Exist - For Nerds!
There are approximately two billion children (persons
Post-Drinking Dry Cleaning
"Bartender, gimme 'nother drink, says a very drunk
Two Hundred Dollar Deal
A guy goes over to his friend's house and knocks
They Don't Get It
There's a guy and a lady sitting on the porch.
Employee of the Month
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from
Shower Me With Criticism
One day this man says to his wife, "Lets take a
Banker Joke
A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan
Powder
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy
Fly In My Guinness
An Irishman, an Englishman and
Feeling Like A Woman
In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through
The New Harley
This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley
The Randy Panda
A panda walks into a bar. He sits down, and asks
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces
Midget at a Urinal
A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that
Gravity-Defying Tequila
A guy is sitting at a bar in
''I'm Stupid'' Signs
Stupid people should have to
How Old is this Drink?
An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle
Flies In The Beer
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a
Teaching a Buncha Hooligans
A young female teacher was giving an assignment
Extra Strength Viagra
Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and
Latex Factory
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he
Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective
First Drink
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son
A Man and his Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.
Old Sparky
On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution
Hang Gliding
Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider.
Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes
What It Means To Be Poor
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose
Halo Statue
A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning the lottery. With his newfound wealth,
George Carlin: I'm a BAD American
George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I
Transatlantic Flight
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things
Liberal / Conservative / Southerner
Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a
Irishman on a Desert Island
One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual
Clean Windows
The local vicar is having a bath, and he's a little bored, so he decides to, 'pleasure' himself. He's
Two Old Pensioners
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first
Winking Problem
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.
Drinking Problems
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born
Wife's Diaphragm
A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed
Playing Golf
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife
Pet Monkey
Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs
Lazy Highway Crew
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten
Singing Bullfrog
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me
The Lawyer and the Blonde
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans
School Punishments
A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment