Jokes
Special Code
A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children
Free Sex
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late
Ring
A telephone rang, and someone picked it up.A voice from the other side said, "Is your number 444 444
Halle Berry Bares All
Halle Berry got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed,
Corn Hole
A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the
Telemarketer Repellant
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,
The Crabby Cabbie
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the
A Private With Balls
A private was serving duties at his barracks in
How To Be Annoying (A Guide)
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people
Buckwheat Spells...
The Li'l Rascals are sitting in class and the teacher
The Popular Mule
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by
Beautiful?
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from
Slippery Doorknob
A market researcher called at a house and his knock
New Lifesavers' Flavor
It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher
The Bald Man
A bald man with one leg wanted to go to a fancy
Three Couples and Church
Three couples want to join a church, but the pastor
Shut-up and Trouble
In a small town in California there lived two boys,
Both Ways
A mother had three daughters and at their weddings
What's for Dinner?
A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor
Mrs. James Black Cloth
One day, Mrs. James was taking a shower, when suddenly
Vampire Blood Bath
Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived
If Someone says F*** You
If someone says "fuck you," just simply reply,
Long Sermon
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed
Buttered Corn, Yum
Once upon a time there were three men lost in a
The Millennium Kid
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital
Come Early And Bring Your Lunch
A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,
Make a Sentence
Children were called upon in a classroom to make
Annoying Things To Do In A Restaurant
Ask for a seat for your imaginary friend Bobo.
Blonde Carpenter
A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window
Clinton Abortion Bill
Whitehouse aide to Clinton: "What are we gonna
Cheese Sandwich
Bloke walks into a pub with a cheese sandwich
Man, I Feel Like A Woman
I'm sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when
Little Johnny's Mom's Vital Signs
Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.
The Eve of Creation
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to
Pregnant Woman Gets On a Bus
This is from an actual trial in the UK.
Old Lady & The Dollar
A little girl asked her mother
Add It Up: Relationship Guide
For all you guys out there who
AWOL
A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer
New Bar in Town
In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.
Justin & Christian
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one
Another Drink
When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly
Three Things Are Inevitable...
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late
Memory Test
Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What
Bathtub
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During
Love Military style
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.
The True Origin of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself
Best Out of the Office Messages
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared
The Creation of the Opposite Sex
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the
The Barber
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,
Girlfriend 7.0
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the
Face Lift
A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the
Thor The Viking
Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin,
New Vocabulary For The Office
Essential NEW WORDS FOR 2004 editions for the work-place vocabulary: BLAMESTORMING Sitting around
Before You Meet God
man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you
Clean Windows
The local vicar is having a bath, and he's a little bored, so he decides to, 'pleasure' himself. He's
Sex on the Sabbath
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
What is the Fastest Thing?
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through
Tennis Ball
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it
Fixing The Pearly Gates
3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing
Getting the most from your I.T. department
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,
Lawyer and a Brothel
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his
Vegas Cab Driver
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and
Urologist Appointment
I had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting
Lost Helicopter
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all
Relationship Guide
Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
Christmas Parrot
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for
Space Program
A blonde was listening to Two men at a party talking about the recent space program. not wanting to
Mexican Bandit
The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A
Confession
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the
Interviewing a General
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read
NASA Experiment
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different
Memory Tests
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three
Two Scotsmen
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of
No Sex Since 1955
A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal
All Booked Up
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of
You Have Mail
A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to make his rounds.
Facelift
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the
It's All Free
An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been