report

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu,

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes,

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest,

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

A blonde is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory.

A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering

CNN Late Breaking News! It has been reported that

20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can

This week, the Bush administration finally released

There was a competition to cross the English channel

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some

According to a news report, a certain private school

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job.

Reporter: "Mr. Condit, when was the last time

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length

"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

A reporter remarked to George W. Bush: "It must

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:

A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage

Dermatologist: Good News my dear, aftr looking

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

A local reporter was interviewing locals about

A little girl was failing math. Her mother enrolled

One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone

A woman was being raped by an escaped mental patient.

A newspaper reporter went to interview an old man

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower,

A news reporter decided to do a column on old Southern

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

Mother Superior called a young novice into her

A reporter heard that a farmer had animals that

A reporter asked Henry Ford the secret of his successful

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

A reporter went up into the hills of West Virginia

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

A man goes to his doctor and says, ''Doctor, Doctor,

Reporter to Clinton: ''Was Monica lying?''''No,

    According to inside contacts,

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

    BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

After several years of serving the church in a

    With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:

    A young reporter once covered

This guy is not getting along so well with his

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime

Harry and Martha were sitting down to their usual

    Stupid people should have to

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument

    Curators at India's Baroda Museum

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer If a packet hits

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

Run one lap around the office at top speed

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9

Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors

(We take you now to the Oval Office.) George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:

Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms

A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, "What do you feel when you shoot

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

A guy went to his travel agent and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his lady friend.

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

A frightened man dialed 911 to report! an assault. "I was coming in the back door," said the man to

A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from

Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets

Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dreaded disorder

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife

If Recipes were like tax forms.... * Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards,

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

A wife reports, My Husband, not happy with my mood swings so he bought me a mood ring the other day

This is a true story.. An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car,

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody

In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested

Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition,

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than

My wife of 14 years is convinced she has Mad Cow disease... ... After all, she had a fast food taco

When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto

It's even hotter than usual in Phoenix, 116 degrees sets a new record, the Associated Press reports: About

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She

A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume

Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't

INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER PRODUCT: You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard,

A reporter was doing a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer getsdissatisfied with the level

A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store. After a few

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour

In the old Wild West, a Eastern newspaper correspondent had just arrived in a new Western town when

An elderly lady finished her shopping and, upon return to the parking lot, found four men in her car.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with

A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. By mistake, St.Peter directs him to go below. So,

On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen