Jokes
Communication
A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter."What are you
So Stupid And So Beautiful
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
Farmer Joe
Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's
Dirty Birds
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots,
Bra
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter
Butler
A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving
ON THE ROOF
John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The
Elevator
After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were
Three Kicks
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting
In school one day, the teacher decided that ...
In school one day, the teacher decided that in
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes...
A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't
Highly Illogical
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they
The Monkey Goes Where the Wind Blows ...
This week, the Bush administration finally released
I Had a Dream
Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said,
Golf Genie
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,
Soldier's Recovery
A army doctor walked into a room to check on his
Charming
Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one
George W. Bush was caught breaking
George W. Bush was caught breaking the White House
Pre-Med Upstart
As a pre-med student at Washington University in
The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby
Tea Time
An American cowboy was traveling in England and
Wife's Confessions
A wealthy business man and his wife are looking
The Call of Nature
One fine day in the middle of class at school,
Barnum & Bailey
Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from
Isolated Duty
A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a
The Mystery of the Thermos
A newspaper reporter went to interview an old man
Helisoft
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when
Blonde and shower caps
A blonde was walking down the street with shower
Harvard, Yale, and Urinal Etiquette
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during
Where did I put it?
A girl was standing talking to her friends when
Rabbi and Priest
A Rabbi and a Priest buy a car together and it's
Nasty Eskimo
A man was walking down the street and saw an
The Fridge
Bertha was worried about her husband George, so
A Lesson in Government
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about
Daddies Bond Over a Beer
There were three men in a bar. All three were
Bad Car Day
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed
Tartar Control
A man named George was new in the city and needed
The Devil, the Lawyers and the Staircase
Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told
Don't Need One of Those
A little boy was playing in his sandbox when the
Blonde and Pizza
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if
Tight As A Mouse
A happy little mouse was walking along one day
Pickup Truck Full of Blondes
Four blondes went to the bar in their pick-up.
Interview Don'ts
A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major
Getting Weighed
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What
A Nun? Drinking!?
Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block
Amish Woman Driver
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces
Moon Talking
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first
If Men Ruled the World
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically
Never Seen A Priest
An old man from a far off land was once on the
A Misuse of NASA Technology
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to
And Who Are These for, Little Boy?
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One
Gorilla Golf
A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is
Erin Go Bra Shopping
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,
Sex and The Country
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to
The Creation of Man
God created the mule, and told him, "You
The Duck and the Lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell
Chemistry Class
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor,
Stuttering Salesman
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,
Farmer Joe's Favorite Mule
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,
Baby Planes
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned
First Wedding
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women
Indian Winter
It Was Already Late Fall And The Indians On A Remote Reservation In South Dakota Asked Their New Chief
Change of Mind
A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday
Southern Law
Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies
The Southern Lady
Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
Million Dollar Question
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the
What Time Is It?
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other
Who Wants to be a Millionaire
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the
Suspension
At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball
Taxiway
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale
Take Care of the Big Rocks First
Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in
Wrong Number
It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" A
Jewish Bra
A man walked into the women's department of Macy's in New York City.He found a saleslady, and told
Hunting Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you
Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the
Power Outage
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so
The Experiment
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so
Selling Bibles
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the
The Barber
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,
Redneck Divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for
The Tables are Turned
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured
Forgive Your Enemies?
The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have
Rolex & Timex
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
Long Cold Winter
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was
Can We Sue?
Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies
Before You Meet God
man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you
Educated Athletes?
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,
Intelligence
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole
Her Diary/His Diary
HER DIARY Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to
Lost Helicopter
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all
Type of Bras
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter
Physics Class
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a
Logic
Two rednecks met in a bar and decided that they weren't going anywhere in life so thought they should
Brain Transplant
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely
Louisiana Law
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into
Policemen in Heaven
St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you
Retired Joy
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his
The Practical Engineer
There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed. One of the engineers who miraculously survived
Work Disability
A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" asked the interviewer. "Yes,
Dancing With a Child
It was the annual homecoming dance at the local high school gym. Most of the young folk were out on
Password
Back in the early 80's Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game this
Cause and Effect
An old sailor was out walking on the dock one day when he met a former ship mate of his. They had not
Old Age Marraige Problems
An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the
Out of Towner
A guy walked into a bar in Alabama and ordered a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looked
Verbal Battle
Little Johnny and Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little
Pain in The Side
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny,
Lawyer's Revenge
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off
Parrots
A woman goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female
The Elevator
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
Flying Lessons
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone