rested

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote,

Robinson was notorious for finding the little loopholes that won him acquittals even in the most difficult

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

Q: Why was Oprah stopped at the airport? A: She

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

Three blondes died and found themselves standing

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole

Oil Change instructions for Women: Pull up to

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a

Men can't pack a bag. Men wouldn't be caught dead

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window

One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors

Mrs. Andrews named her cat Love because it was

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They

The ringmaster of a traveling circus was looking

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

Q:Why was the ghost arrested? A:Because it had

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species

Good: Your children are sexually active. Bad: With

Q: Why did Santa get arrested? A: He got caught

A couple went to church every week, but every

Your face is so ugly, you look out the window and

There was a woman who was interested in getting

You might be a redneck if you are working at a

Two boys were arrested, one was drinking battery

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

A man was sitting next to a very attractive woman

Did you hear why Oprah got arrested? Airport

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful

Lesson number one: A crow was sitting on a tree,

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

Two couples were playing cards.  John accidentally

A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. "Is

    William and Mildred were married

    Three ducks were swimming in

Why was former President Clinton so interested

Our Rights: The following was written by State

Dear __________________________,    

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

One day George was betting on the ponies nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest who had

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough

A female officer arrested a man for drunk driving. The female officer tells the man: "Sir, you have

Police in Turkey have arrested a 30-year-old shop assistant After he was found lying naked with a

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely

A 57-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room. Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room. Marriage-

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month

10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 9. He is starting to develop a crush

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested

I know you have an interest in poker - here's a twist. Two couples were playing cards one evening.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: *29

At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

"Diane, I just don't understand?! I don't have a boyfriend or a husband, I can never get a date and

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your

A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested