Jokes
Dear Dad
A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything
Memory Fails
A 65-year-old woman gave birth to a baby boy. When
Why did the blonde get fired...
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She
Steroid Breast Stroke
A female Olympic swimmer was talking with one of
Blonde Rows of Corn
A blonde is driving along a deserted country road
Britney and Christina Work Together
Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building
Actual School Excuse Notes
These are excuse notes from parents (with their
Marines vs. Navy
How can you tell a marine from a sailor on an aircraft
Aquamarine
One day, a little boy was peeing in a public restroom
Discrimination
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The
The Ant and the Elephant
An elephant was walking through the jungle one
Yo mama's Teeth So Crooked
Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked that when she smiles
Leg Talk
What did one guy's leg say to the other? Look
Rough Sex
A man walks into a bar and sees a large chest of
Euro-English Instead of German
The European Union commissioners have announced
Male Whale
One day, a pod of whales was swimming along when
Star Trek 'n' Computer Geeks
What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there
I Ain't 'Fraid Of No Ghost
A very sick man is in the hospital, and on many
Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and
Guy With Frog Growing Out of His Head
A guy goes into a doctor's office with a frog growing
The Twinkie Joke
A 14-year-old girl walks into a hairdresser's shop
Blonde in a Boat
There was a blonde driving down the road one day.
Handy Blondy
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them
The Skin Canoes
There were three guys who where rowing a canoe
International Beer Syndrome
An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man:
Intelligent Life?
Aliens from Somewhere-Out-There just landed on
Parrot and a Truckload of Chickens
There was a chicken farmer who owned a talking
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2.
Real Blonde?
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire
Rare Disorder
A man sees a growth coming out from the center
Sweet Emotion
This lady is throwing a party where each guest
A Crappy Date (A True Story)
Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy
Male Translations
"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
True [Stupid] Crime Stories
A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false
Oversensitive About His Missing Ears
Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,
Dating vs. Marriage
When you are dating..... Farting is never an
Indecent Exposure to the Sun
Once upon a time, there was a little old man who
How To Sell Lawnmowers
A young man just got a new job
Gags For The Office Drone
Run one lap around the office at top speed
Viagra Slogans
10. The quicker picker upper! 9. One a day,
Bill Of No Rights
Our Rights: The following was written by State
Philosophy
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2)
Definitive Sign
A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could
The Island
A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean
Birthday Party
A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a
A Modern Day Parable
A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.
Biker's Dog
A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um,
Rules for Bank Robbers
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"
Tall Trees
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one: Two tall trees,
30 Years Difference
1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual
The Letter
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything
Euro English Unification
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During
Dear Abby
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier
Tan It All
A man went to the beach to work on his tan. In his hotel room that night, he noticed that he had a
Letter to a Nosey Mom
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition,
Mississippi Student Absentees
I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents
Hollywood Squares
If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth
Why Men Are Just Happier People!
What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all
When it Cries
This is why God invented menopause....... With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65
Why Parents Have Gray Hair
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of
Crotchless Panties
A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's
How Old Am I?
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing
A Little Testy
A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male
Blondes Duck Hunting
Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and
Animal Research
A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt
Final Exam
Curly is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He
It's All Free
An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been
Work Accident
Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.