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Jokes

Dear Dad

A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything

Memory Fails

A 65-year-old woman gave birth to a baby boy. When

Why did the blonde get fired...

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She

Steroid Breast Stroke

A female Olympic swimmer was talking with one of

Blonde Rows of Corn

A blonde is driving along a deserted country road

Britney and Christina Work Together

Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building

Actual School Excuse Notes

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

Marines vs. Navy

How can you tell a marine from a sailor on an aircraft

Aquamarine

One day, a little boy was peeing in a public restroom

Discrimination

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The

The Ant and the Elephant

An elephant was walking through the jungle one

Yo mama's Teeth So Crooked

Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked that when she smiles

Leg Talk

What did one guy's leg say to the other? “Look

Rough Sex

A man walks into a bar and sees a large chest of

Euro-English Instead of German

The European Union commissioners have announced

Male Whale

One day, a pod of whales was swimming along when

Star Trek 'n' Computer Geeks

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

I Ain't 'Fraid Of No Ghost

A very sick man is in the hospital, and on many

Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and

Guy With Frog Growing Out of His Head

A guy goes into a doctor's office with a frog growing

The Twinkie Joke

A 14-year-old girl walks into a hairdresser's shop

Blonde in a Boat

There was a blonde driving down the road one day.

Handy Blondy

Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them

The Skin Canoes

There were three guys who where rowing a canoe

International Beer Syndrome

An insect falls into a mug of beer. English Man:

Intelligent Life?

Aliens from Somewhere-Out-There just landed on

Parrot and a Truckload of Chickens

There was a chicken farmer who owned a talking

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2.

Real Blonde?

Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire

Rare Disorder

A man sees a growth coming out from the center

Sweet Emotion

This lady is throwing a party where each guest

A Crappy Date (A True Story)

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

Male Translations

"No, really, I'm OK to drive."    

True [Stupid] Crime Stories

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

Oversensitive About His Missing Ears

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

Dating vs. Marriage

When you are dating..... Farting is never an

Indecent Exposure to the Sun

Once upon a time, there was a little old man who

How To Sell Lawnmowers

    A young man just got a new job

Gags For The Office Drone

Run one lap around the office at top speed

Viagra Slogans

10. The quicker picker upper! 9. One a day,

Bill Of No Rights

Our Rights: The following was written by State

Philosophy

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2)

Definitive Sign

A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could

The Island

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

Birthday Party

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

A Modern Day Parable

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

Biker's Dog

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um,

Rules for Bank Robbers

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

Tall Trees

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one: Two tall trees,

30 Years Difference

1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual

The Letter

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything

Euro English Unification

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Dear Abby

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier

Tan It All

A man went to the beach to work on his tan. In his hotel room that night, he noticed that he had a

Letter to a Nosey Mom

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition,

Mississippi Student Absentees

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

Hollywood Squares

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

Why Men Are Just Happier People!

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all

When it Cries

This is why God invented menopause....... With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

Crotchless Panties

A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's

How Old Am I?

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing

A Little Testy

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male

Blondes Duck Hunting

Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and

Animal Research

A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt

Final Exam

Curly is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He

It's All Free

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been

Work Accident

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.