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Deduction

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

Tai-Chi King

In a company there's this tai-chi king. His tai-chi has reached the level where even the boss could do

Simple Math

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's

RENT FOR APARTMENT

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

Never hire a man to do a woman's job

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

Area 51

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as

New Ears

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

Toothpaste

A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting dressed. She points to his dick

45th Birthday

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

Dark Secret

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

I know the whole truth

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

Man vs Woman

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are f

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are

Give or Take a Gazillion

The Secretary of Defense is briefing President

Bill and Hillary

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

Future Handicapping

George W. was out jogging one morning along the

Thin Books

Worldââ,¬â"¢s thinnest books 20. BEAUTY

Change Up

The president and Mrs. Bush are in the front row

Bubba Hump

A football coach noticed that his star tackle,

War Pigs

Secretaries Powell and Rumsfeld are sitting in

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

Magic Puddle

One day, a policeman walked by and saw a drunk

Running for Office

George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when

Chair Man of the Board

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's

Stayin' Alive

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long

Not Your Typical Chicken Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Part of a

There was this redneck that walked into a ...

There was this redneck that walked into a bar and

The Monkey Goes Where the Wind Blows ...

This week, the Bush administration finally released

Marriage Requirments

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

Little Leprechaun?

A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign

Little Wanky

At a news conference, a journalist said to the

Capitalism for Dummies

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

We take you now to the Oval Office

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:

Kofi Annanââ,¬â"¢s New Year's UN Resolutions

Be brave -- ask US for more money. Salt and pepper

Highbrow Genital Jokes

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

Famous People Say the Darndest Things

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

Voodoo Enronomics

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some

Taliban Poetic Justice

My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well,

50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden...

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

Afghani TV Guide

MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00

Dictaphone

A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks,

C.E.O. D.U.M.B

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break,

How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton...

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

Bush BM

President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case

Jenna's Predicament

JENNA'S PREDICAMENT Do we really wonder why Jenna

White House Synonyms

George W. Bush is the President Dick Cheney is

Naked Man on the Run

A man was having an affair with a married woman.

Bush's Morning Run

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies

Bush and Gore, together again

Bush and Gore went fishing. Gore went on one side

Hit Television Shows in Iraq...

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

Funny Answering Machine Messages

1) The president is not in his/her office at this

The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

The Toothbrush Salesman

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as

The Sexy Negligee

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is

Christmas Bonus

Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss

Presidential with a P

One day while taking a walk outside of the White

Ha, The Joke's On You

There was this guy who always went out drinking

$500 Porsche

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his

Men, Don't Say this at Victioria's Secret

10. Does this come in children's sizes? 9.

Smellin' Wood

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard.

Oh, Those Darn Lawyers

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

Pickle in the Pants

There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous

Golf On The Sly

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

All I Want Is A Drink

A very thirsty guy realizes that he's just walked

One Arm, Two Arm, Red Arm, Blue Arm

Horace was born with only one arm but he managed

Henry Ford on Marriage

A reporter asked Henry Ford the secret of his successful

Clinton Hijinx

Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White House

All I Want Is a Beer!

A man was out of town on business. While sitting

Redneck's Medical Dictionary

Artery: Study of paintings Bacteria: Backdoor

Presidential surprise

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy

Lincoln, JFK, & Crazy Coinkydinks

Lincoln and JFK started politics 100 years apart.

The Frugal Clerk

A secretary goes to the company stockroom and requisitions

Confucious and His Wisdom

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.

Blonde & Cruise

A blonde co-ed is looking at a bulletin board and

The Hamster Show

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if

Womanly Secret

Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret

Clinton's Lingerie

When did Bill Clinton go to Victoria's Secret?

The Sex Change

There was a successful doctor who had an office

Clinton in Oz

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and the Secretary of Defense

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography 1.

Nerd Sayings Galore

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

If _____ Made Toasters

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

Clock Joke

Why shouldn't you tell a secret around a clock?

You Stink So Bad

You stink so bad you make Right Guard turn left,

Yo Mama's So Smelly... Deordorant

Yo mama's so smelly, her Sure deodorant is confused

Geriatric Sex

Two old biddies were talking about their lives

Morning at the White House

    White House staffers were perplexed

Grandma's Trip to Victoria's Secret

Grandma went into Victoria's Secret and wanted

Daily Affirmations

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get

Real Stories of the Non-Technical

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

Man Quiz -- Are You Trained?

   As you grow older, what lost

Applying for a Job at the CIA

    A few months ago, there was

Bring Your Daughter to Work Day

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom

Pre-Nuptial Agreements

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

Men vs. Women: Round 1

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

Taken Apart Like Machines

A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true

Men vs. Women vs. the Short Story

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

Dear God

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

Skin Transplant Surgery

A married couple was in a terrible accident where

Hit TV Shows in Iraq

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

Good Quotes

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' --

Sunbathing

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on

Indian weatherman

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and

$100.00

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then

Rent for Apartment

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

Looking Old

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, "surely I Can't Look

Indian Winter

It Was Already Late Fall And The Indians On A Remote Reservation In South Dakota Asked Their New Chief

Cowboy in a Gay Bar

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. But decides, what the heck,"

Who's on first - Bush style

(We take you now to the Oval Office.) George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:

Alabama Quarter

Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more

New Math

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask

Murphy's Technology Laws

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

Home Game

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people

Men Are From Mars

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

Old Dress

One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. "Veronica,

Manage Your Stress

Having a rough day? Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended

Light Bulb

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb? 1. One to deny

New Company

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

A Letter To My Dogs & Cats

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

ine Investment tips for 2006

Investment tips for 2006.... for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers

Personal Ads

Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian.

Scrap Yard

A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from

The True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Agriculture Politics

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

Thanksgiving

You might be a redneck if .... You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table. Thanksgiving

George W.

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing

Sure-Fire Signs There's Trouble On The Job

1) The new policy on sexual harassment includes your photo. 2) The Security guard makes a complete

Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Life's Insights

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.

Golf

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

World Series

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret

Donald Rumsfeld Quotes

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

Wisdom Of Homer

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

Who's On First for the Next Generation!

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the

Moses at the Airport

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a

The Shredder

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary

The Skin Graft

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told

Health Advice

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

Liberal Press

The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac...sailing

Girlfriend 7.0

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

Going to War

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

Help From Canada

PRESS RELEASE: Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President

New Quarters Recalled

Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more

How Dan Rather would have covered D-Day

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said

Top 15 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Wife

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby." 14. "I sure hope your

Job Ads Made Easy

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

Long Cold Winter

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was

Rules for Work

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.

Stress Relief Method

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.

Time Tested

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as

The World's Thinnest Books

World's thinnest Books available at a bookstore near you. FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW

Signs Your Amish Teen's In Trouble

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women

Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

The Man Code

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

Gay Bar

A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, "What the heck,

The answer is C

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Getting the most from your I.T. department

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

Bought A Porsche

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

Diary Of A Mad Viagra Housewife:

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

Two Old Pensioners

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first

New Software System

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.

Axis of Evil Wannabes

The following story was written by Andrew Marlatt. It first appeared on SatireWire on Feb. 1, 2002

Starting a Business Together

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

Whole Truth

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

Wife's Diaphragm

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed

Call 911

Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. "Hear

Marriage One Liners

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

Rules That Guys Wish Women Knew:

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

Federal Agencies

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan

Two Men in a LifeBoat

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

Secretarial Position

There is an opening for a secretarial position. The man conducting the interviews asks each candidate

The Tongue

A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of

Serious Stealing Case

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years

The Magician and the Parrot

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so

The Whole Truth

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

New Face

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor

Back to Front

A young wanna-be stud is vactioning alone in Hawaii. He hits the beach, hoping to meet some young