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Jokes

Q-Tip

At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example

Bird Brained

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they

A plane is on its way to Houston when a ...

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde

Hey Hey Fat Mama

Yo mama so fat, she woked up in sections.

Arkansas Scholars

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

What P.M.S. Stands For

Pass My Shotgun Psychotic Mood Shift Perpetual

A lawyer dies and goes to Hell.

He meets Satan, who says, "You are supposed to

Super Bowl

A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but

Honk If You Love Jesus

The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''

DUI

A drunk is driving through the city and his car

Yo Mama's So Fat... Wakes Up

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections

Showers: Men Vs. Women

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

A Small Journey Through Hell

A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to

Loose Constructionists

A road consturction manager needed to hire someone

The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.

50 Things to Do in a Mall

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out

Redneck's Medical Dictionary

Artery: Study of paintings Bacteria: Backdoor

Krazy Library Fun

1. See how many teenage boys you can gather by

Yo Mama's So Fat... C-Section

Yo' mama so fat that she couldn't be born by

C-section and Blonde

One day a blonde and her friend and their parents

First Class Blondie

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to

Bird-Brained in Helopisa

John went on vacation to Helopisa. As soon as he

The Funky Parrot

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere

Running Around Blindly

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection

Sexual Sofa

    An elderly woman entered a large

Checkout Conniption

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with

West Virginia Custody Battle

The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote

Geriatric Lovemaking

You know your grandparents are doing it when... 10.

Advice For The Ladies

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports

New Office Policy

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Janitor or Millionaire

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

Company Policy

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Grandma's Letter

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

Funny Lines

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. Marriage changes

Murphy's Laws of Computing

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to

Little People

This not a widely known fact, mainly because of the little-known popularity of the celebrity involved.

Scrap Yard

A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from

Total Eclipse of Communication

From : Managing Director To : Executive Director "Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse

Actual Writings on Hospital Charts

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

George Carlin's Philosophy Class

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

Top 10 Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active

10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor. 9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth

Lawyers Are Full Of Bull

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's

Words for the Wise

1 . Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes

Stop Light!

Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman

Answers Given By Children

These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and

First Class

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

Drink Driving

An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car

No Sword!

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the

A Bale of Hay

A fellow comes to confession. "Father," he said, "forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asked,

Flight to New York

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class