service

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

George W. was out jogging one morning along the

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

The president and Mrs. Bush are in the front row

George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when

A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St.

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well,

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

JENNA'S PREDICAMENT Do we really wonder why Jenna

An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house

An English guy was very ill and his son went to

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies

Bush and Gore went fishing. Gore went on one side

11) I'm spiking the punch at the reception. That'll

Yo mama's so dumb, she thought that the the International

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by

One day while taking a walk outside of the White

Have you heard that OJ is starting a new Airport

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel.

A couple went to church every week, but every

Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White House

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy

In the suburbs, there's grass. In the ghetto,

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down.

A minister wound up the services one morning by

There once was this deacon and this preacher, and

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography 1.

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp

After the church service, a little boy told the

Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers

You might be a redneck if you wonder how service

You might be a redneck if you wonder how service

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue

A madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly

'You Were an Accident' 'Strangers Have the Best

Tiger Woods     A couple were on

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful,

The following letters were taken from an actual

A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

    William and Mildred were married

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes The South

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

Our Rights: The following was written by State

A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could

I believe that earlier this year the US Postal Service also issued a set of stamps featuring american

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant

1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think

The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women

It Was Already Late Fall And The Indians On A Remote Reservation In South Dakota Asked Their New Chief

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Eddie was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow

A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died,

An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists. The terrorist leader said,

Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in

WATER...... It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter Of water each day, at the end

A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man named Shea) to audit a synagogue. The

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......" 1. You take your dog for

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people

Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire after his Sunday mor ning service, and she's in tears. He says,

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.

Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos: you never know what's going

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of

Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian.

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a

The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac...sailing

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

A groom and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton on their honeymoon. They check in at the front, and

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Man "Haven't we met before?" Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man "Haven't

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! I

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t . 2. I don't know what your

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

It was Saturday night and the preacher still hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf*ck you. 2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. 3. Well,

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked

A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

Maria, an Italian woman was extrememly religious. When she was married, she refused to use protection because

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when

The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis

A guy goes to the Post Office to interview for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you a Veteran?" The

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service

According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the US Department

A lady went into a bar in Austin and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known

This farmer had an old rooster and he thought it might be time to get a new young rooster to service

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Alan

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his

A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" asked the interviewer. "Yes,

The widow takes a look at her dear departed one night before the funeral and, to her horror, finds

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's

There was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance that he could get, he could be found on the

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of