shoes

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

Ah huay went for a job interview, and when the manager saw him wearing a colorful shirt, golden hair,

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and

What a woman says, what she really means... I

A man goes to a restaurant, orders some takeout,

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all

How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick

A 6'4'' ninth grader was acting up in class.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom

An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids

An old man went into a pharmacy and asked for two

If a butcher is 6 feet tall, wears size 9 shoes,

Q: Why do blondes have “TGIF” on their

Never say anything about a man until you have walked

An old man and women owned a farm. The old man

Why did Dennis Rodman get kicked out of the game?

Yo' mama so fat, she has to wear snowshoes on dry

Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle.

A man lying on a stretcher in the emergency room

What's the difference between a trampoline and

Yo mama is so disgusting that every time she bends

1. Is it any coincidence that your blouse matches

One day, there's a man and his wife driving along

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and

(which in our society means over 25) An older

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

How do you get a redneck gal pregnant? Come

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out

How do you tell a blonde isn't wearing underwear?

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

you grind your coffee beans in your mouth. you

* We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare

Q: Why do women choose sex over bowling? A:

Yo mama's so fat, she needs license plates for

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick

Why did the pregnant lady cross the road? I

On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie

A newlywed couple were on their honeymoon and were

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined,

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the

Two married buddies are out drinking one night

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Cats' facial expressions. The need for the same

A young lady was standing in front of a shoe store

    Marol spent her wedding night

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

    Every night after dinner, Merle

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't

"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe"

On the day of the Royal Wedding, Sofia was getting

A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am . While his coffeepot

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, US troops in Afghanistan prove they've retained their sense

George Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many

Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian.

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I

Q: How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde? A: It has a stamp on it. Q: Why do blondes have

Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. You don't care

A Man And A Young Beautiful Woman Are Engaging In A "Romantic Affair" In The Lovely Young Womans Bedroom.

You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When... 1. You notice your tie sticking out of your

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured

Always wear brown shoes when Congress is in session. If the First Daughters are wearing short skirts,

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy

(This is supposedly a true story.) If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips,she sank into the comfort

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession.

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't

The Doctor said: "The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require

"OLD" IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one,

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all

Colin was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea. When

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from

Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer. When all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps

A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at

Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The