shoot

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.3. All Men Are Animals,

A Texan, a Californian, and Oregonian are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle

A teacher asks her class, ââ,¬Å"If there

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

Here's a dilemma... With all your honor and dignity,

Here's a dilemma for you... With all your honor

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

A little rabbit is running happily through the

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked,

Three men, an American, an Arab, and a Chinese

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they

One day, a blonde left work early to go home and

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were fighting

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

How do you stop a Taliban tank? Shoot the guy

MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00

How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far

ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize

A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving? A:

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a

How do you stop a blonde tank? Shoot the people

Paddy 'n' Mick join the army, and are put on street

There was a cowboy riding down a trail on his horse

1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won't

What's the difference between basketball and sex?

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting

Two guys are committing a robbery. One of them

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

This guy hears that there's good bear hunting up

Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were

A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the

Bob was joining the army and they were handing

A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to

One day there was a woman who was about to have

Three men are found in the wilderness by civilized

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.

A missionary has spent years teaching agriculture

What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen?

An 80-year old man walks into the doctor's office

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was

Why can't you shoot up marijuana? Because

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

Three guys were captured in Iraq as American spies

* You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and

There were three guys who where rowing a canoe

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one

Q: What goes, "Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

A Scottish man heads for home after spending the

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue

Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it? A blonde

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview.

One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

A guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends.

Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie

An Indian walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of

A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shooters. The

1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. 2.

* If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

One morning, a man approached the first tee, only

A man from another country came to the U.S. and

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam

You're a redneck if you hear the phrase "Take out

If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?

Q: These days, what do you need to shoot to win

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds

A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly.

Why do women like hunters? 1) Because they always

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A:

The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes." The

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly

    A few months ago, there was

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because

    'Twas the night before Christmas

A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking

Run one lap around the office at top speed

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

The George W Bush Presidential Lie-berry is now in the planning stages. You'll want to be the first

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics.

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

Little Johnny grew up in the city, and went to visit his Uncle Joe on the farm. For the first few

How The French Military uniform evolved A long time ago, the British and French were at War. During

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure

"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed that the guy

An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists. The terrorist leader said,

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, "What do you feel when you shoot

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

There was a German, an Italian and a Missouri Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle

A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass. Impotence...Nature's way of saying

25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

SUNDAY: 0800 - My 33 Sons 0830 - Osama Knows Best 0900 - I Dream of Mohammed 0930 - Let's

A little country boy was sitting on the curb with a quart of turpentine and just shaking it all up;

18. If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!" 17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

You might be a Redneck Jedi if..... you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." your

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect, who just couldn't control himself during

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer." The other replies, "That's

A gorilla escapes from the zoo and after 3 weeks, the zoo keepers give up looking for him. Some time

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her

At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their vest

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"