shopping

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for

Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift. "I'd

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

Britney Spears had just bought her new car and

Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and

You know you're a redneck when... you go Christmas

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

A Scottish wife, an English wife, and an Irish

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

You know you're a redneck if you do all of your

Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping

Why did God invent the shopping cart? To teach

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery

Why do brunettes take blondes shopping with them?

Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina 10.

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

Q: What did Shakespeare say while he was shopping

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down.

A man was grocery shopping one day when he passed

There were three blondes living together. Blonde

Last 10 Things a Man Would Say: 10. I think Barry

This is actually a true story that happened to

There were three extremely poor men. They were

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they

Why were shopping carts invented? To teach women

Every day I give thanks to the Goddess: I have

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

A WOMAN'S GUIDE WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING WHILE

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box. "It's my wife's

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He

---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ---

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled

I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've

A Texas family of football supporters head out one Saturday to the outlet mall to do their tax-free

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled

This is a true story.. An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car,

One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. My memory's

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured

A man comes up to the cashier and she notices that his fly was open. She looks at him and says, "Your

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips,she sank into the comfort

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been

Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

HER DIARY Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely

THE VALUE OF UNDIES-- Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From

Jason wanted to get his blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, but also something

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?",

With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a

An elderly lady finished her shopping and, upon return to the parking lot, found four men in her car.

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go