smart

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man +

There were five people on a crashing air plane.

Three men had been stuck on an island for ten years. Just

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts

A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus

Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

An English professor told her students that there

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star

President Bush is so stupid, he dyed his hair blonde

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were

A business man is trying to find a potental wife.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live

A son walks into the living room and asks his dad

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite

1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. 2. The

Four people are in an airplane: the president,

What's the smartest thing that ever came out of

A lady walks into the local record store. "Do

Why did God make men a little smarter than dogs?

One evening, a man was at home watching TV and

One day two boys were walking through the woods

Why are men so smart during sex? Cause they're

Three men were walking down a street and found

You are in a room with three monkeys. One holds

What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.

What do you call a smart hole in the wall? A

One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich

Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are

Why are Iranians so smart? Because none of

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

Five pigs were standing outside a bar. The first

About ten years ago, George Bush was visiting Mikhail

Why are men the smartest during sex? Because

One night, a man with no voice and his friend went

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

What's the difference between a smart blonde and

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in

One day while a wife was working in the kitchen,

A farmer walked into a bar with a horse. He said,

A Hillbilly family's only son had saved up money

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

A guy is tossing peanuts into the air and catching

If the government is going to put health warning

Some pretty 'useful' phrases you, too, can use

"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically

In the human body, which organ is in charge? All

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

A few clowns short of a circus.Ã, Ã, 

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday

It is near the end of the school year.  The

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend,

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He

During a visit to a hospital for the mentally infirm, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

FEMALE POEM I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long. One who

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

Useful phrases when dealing with the general population. Try to incorporate these into your conversations

The "Claven Theory" offers the besy proof that beer actually does make you smarter..... "One afternoon

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

Female Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep , I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t . 2. I don't know what your

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their

*A few clowns short of a circus *A few fries short of a Happy Meal *An experiment in Artificial Stupidity *A

Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. "Hear

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.

Through the center of Czechoslovakia there's a train speeding along. In one compartment of the train

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.