Jokes
Ladies Night Club
The other day, my friends and I went to a "Ladies Night Club."One of the girls wanted to impress the
Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts
Last Chicken
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to
Two Twenties
A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt.
Can't Take You Anywhere
Two men are sitting around drinking. One guys says
Osama and Saddam are walking through a ...
Osama and Saddam are walking through a desert when
10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player
1. They always wear protection 2. They
Ding Dong
Yo mama so poor, when you ring her bell, she sticks
Hans Across Iraq
Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good
Monkey Balls
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He
Holiday Eating Tips - For The Sane
I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its
Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List
December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.
Life's Reflections
1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no
Live Girls
An Irishman and Englishman and a Scotsman walk
Room 88
A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money
Pow Wow Ow!
There was this Indian who just came back from a
Goose Hunting
So this guy is in Rhode Island hunting for geese.
Turkey Rhythm
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Curious Pickup Line
Love's a sensation caused by temptation, a guy
Blonde's Computer Freeze
What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
Fishsticks are for Lovahs
A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's
Food for the Hungry
Three drifters are roaming the countryside for
Genetic Manipulation For Good, Not Evil
What do you get when you cross a centipede with
You So Skinny
You so skinny, you strap popsicle sticks to your
Goathead! Goathead!
Two guys were driving down the road when they
Two Drunks
One night two drunks were wandering the town trying
ATM
Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over
Bar... Alligator
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's
The Lady, the Pickle and the Mailman
There was this one lady that bought a jar of pickles
Three Dicks
Three dicks are talking about what their owners
Limerick: Horny Lil
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked
Naughty Nuns
A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish.
Which Hair Do You Cut?
A guy sticks his head in the door of a barber shop
Dirty Old Woman
An old man and an old woman are sitting in a nursing
Hungry Monkey
A man and his monkey walk into a bar. The man walks
Twinkie
A couple has just finished having sex. They ALWAYS
Peanut Butter Rooster
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a
A Hard Riddle
What's hard and hairy and sticks out of a mans
Three Men and a Stripper
Three men went into a stripper bar and this stripper
PC Three Little Pigs
Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together
Grosser than gross.. underwear
What's grosser than gross? When you throw your
When Can I Get That Haircut?
A guy sticks his head into a
True Newspaper Clippings
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA
Girl Power!
A little boy is playing with his new football and
A Redneck Can Tell the Difference...
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between
Wacky News of the World
But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,
Bar... Monkey
A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He
St Patrick's Day
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's
Little Old Lady
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags, one in each hand. There's
Outhouse
Ma was in the kitchen fiddlin around when she hollars out... "Pa you need to fix the outhouse!" Pa
The True Origin of the Internet
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself
Kite's Tail
A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. However, every time the kite gets
People Over 34 Should Be Dead
Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,
The Outhouse
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa, You need to go out and fix the
Oil
There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America. Well,
Clever Pickup Lines
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock. I can't find my puppy, can you
53 ways to make a cop mad....
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When
Hair Cut
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can et a haircut?" The barber
Pet Monkey
Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs
Dumb Barber
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?" The
Hole Diggers
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft
Let the Trucker Sleep
After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As