stood

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw,

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

Mr Samy Vellu attends a UN meeting on space exploration by 2008. He is representing the Malaysian Prime

Three guys died and went to heaven. St Paul was there looking down at the three of them, one is a reknowned

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen

A few fraternity brothers needed to fill a science requirement in order to graduate, so they spent weeks

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

A blonde is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

America has finally captured Saddam Hussein! They

A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with

Yo mama's so fat , she stood on a scale and it

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

In a city park stood two statues, one female and

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

Little Jimmy had become a real nuisance while the

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call,

There once was this group of strange beings called

There was an old professor who started every class

The preacher stood before the congregation. ''Brothers

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

A girl was going on her first date and her grandmother

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering

So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates,

Robert Frost and a redneck came to heaven's gate

A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by

A man on a plane asked the stewardess if he could

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a

A redneck farmer one day points at his wife's chest

There was a husband and a wife. The husband was

An old man went to the social security office to

In the Garden of Eden stood Adam With his hand

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower,

A southern minister was completing a temperance

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

Once there was a substitute teacher taking over

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in

An old wizard was walking through a park when he

Once there was a man with a girlfriend named Loraine.

A leprechaun and his friend walked into a bar one

There were three blondes living together. Blonde

Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality

A man walked into work on Monday with two black

Children were called upon in a classroom to make

There was a chicken and a horse playing together

These two persons are discussing whether the state

Two 6 year old boys were attending religous school

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana.

There was a boss who was told by his boss that

A grade school teacher was asking students what

Three little boys were looking for a summer job.

* If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

Jon and Dan were in a mental institution. This

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they

Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village

I'm sitting on this plane, eating my dinner, when

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology

There were three old ladies sitting on a park bench

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

A women desperately looking for work goes into

A cowboy was passing by a ranch and decided to

    A few months ago, there was

A southern minister was completing a temperance

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an

This guy is not getting along so well with his

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister

Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping

    The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor

Some of the finest quotes from the Honorable Marion

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically

A Polish man was taking a flight on a commercial

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide

Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was,

One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all living creatures on Earth to die. To sort things

A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for

When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were

One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs

The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day, walking

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. He played with his toys in her bedroom while

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba

Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and--because he was a good

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

A man comes up to the cashier and she notices that his fly was open. She looks at him and says, "Your

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked

Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin,

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes,

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

A man walked into a bar near Lexington, KY and ordered a beer just as former President Clinton appeared

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place

A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed

Jose is 17 years old and lives in Mexico. All his life he has wanted to see an American baseball game.

The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day,

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was

A nurse of an old folks home walked into the room of Mr. Jones and noticed he was crying at the foot

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.

This farmer had an old rooster and he thought it might be time to get a new young rooster to service

Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. "Hear

There was a girl who went to sunday school and always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked and pointed

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft

A fellow comes to confession. "Father," he said, "forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asked,

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of

A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your

Fay Chester was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines.

A woman was cleaning her attic with her cat by her side for company. Amongst the boxes and old papers

There was once a magic mirror in a ladies room in a bar. If one stood in front of this mirror and tells