stopped

It was so cold last night the police stopped 3 youths pushing a mobile home down the street! When questioned

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing

Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians

I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered fat free french

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Well, I hope you remember my story when they

Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A blond died her hair brown because she was tired

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

Nervous Taxi Driver A passenger in a taxi leaned

Q: Why was Oprah stopped at the airport? A: She

It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

There was this lawyer who drove his shiny new Lexus

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods,

A blond was driving along a country road, listening

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

A highway patrol officer was driving up a mountain

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the

Tiger Woods was traveling through rural Kentucky

John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

During the Super Bowl, there was another football

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies

There was a blonde at a stoplight and it said “walk.”

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick

Late one Friday in Dublin, a policeman spotted

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

A man is away on business, at a convention for

Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking

The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''

Yo mama's so stupid that she jumped off a cliff

Mrs. Andrews named her cat Love because it was

A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her

One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction

There was a cowboy and an Indian riding through

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same

Early one morning, the milkman was doing his rounds.

Louis, the French Fighter Pilot, was lying with

There was once a boy whose father gave him a duck,

A city girl was driving back to town after attending

Two residents at a nursing home became good friends.

Three guys were in a bar and they heard a woman

A young woman experienced car trouble late one

On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

This lady goes to a vet and learns that that if

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the

After working out in the gym, Bill, a gay man was

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

Susan was standing on a street corner when Bob

Two hookers were riding around town with a sign

A nun was telling some other nuns about how she

One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how

At the basketball game why did the blonde say,

Fifty naked men were walking in a circle and one

This is actually a true story that happened to

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana.

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye

Two construction workers were working on the 30th

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

One morning, a man approached the first tee, only

Dear Tide, I have always used your product

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing

There was a young country boy who was very bright.

Joe stopped at his favorite watering hole after

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As

A married man goes to confessional and tells the

1) You're Different -- And That's Bad 2)

'You Were an Accident' 'Strangers Have the Best

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

    For the first time in many years,

"No, really, I'm OK to drive."    

    A trucker who had driven his

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with

Did you hear? Bill Clinton stopped playing the

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

    Stupid people should have to

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father,

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

Monica's Diary Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited!

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it

In the early 20th Century, Thomas Edison was spreading the word about electricity. Once, while

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

other day my neighbour, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy!

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They

Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch

Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed that the guy

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with

Mark and Paul stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, they're sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more. A

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right,"

A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly

10. Today is our what? 9. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time we had sex this year.

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining

A guy was walking down the street when he was startled to see a beautiful, young nude girl running

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

(This is supposedly a true story.) If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while

A man went to the beach to work on his tan. In his hotel room that night, he noticed that he had a

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed,

A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step,

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?"

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train

An elderly man was headed home in his car one evening, swerving and weaving on the road, when he was

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES.......$50.00."

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation came around to last night's big date. "So,

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman - almost." The

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer!"

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the

A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the Road. He stopped

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde

The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had

Seems this hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next

A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt

Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer. When all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps

A fellow was walking through a cemetery one dark and stormy night. As he got well into the cemetery,

Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the

A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at

A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister

A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting