street

A computer walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender looks over at him and says,

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

A 93 year old man sitting on the street, crying. A woman asks him, what’s wrong? The old man

It was so cold last night the police stopped 3 youths pushing a mobile home down the street! When questioned

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans

In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote,

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

There was girl who was a prostitute, but her grandmother didn't know about her occupation.One day, the

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."

Three co-workers are bored during their lunch break, so they decide to go to the roof of their building

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing tothe roof. Firemen are on

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out

Two little potatoes are standing on the street

When will women be equal to men? When they can

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case

A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.

It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her walking down the

It was a hot day in Iowa. Helga hung the wash out

A doctor is walking down the street and sees a

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

Why are there so many trees along the streets of

* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse

One day there was a blind man walking down the

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

Two condoms are walking down a street in San Francisco

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple

Robbie Williams and Elton John are walking down

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a

What's the difference between a dead possum in

I saw your dad walking down the street the other

George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length

Way back in '97 I wondered why those bands like

Why did the Backstreet Boys show up to the party? 'Cause

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

There was a blonde at a stoplight and it said “walk.”

Yo mama's so fat, when the cops see her on a street

Paddy 'n' Mick join the army, and are put on street

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

A blonde working in the coffin industry was thinking

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids

Yo mama's so poor, I saw her walking down the street

A little boy and his father are walking down the

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One

A man was walking down the street and on the

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house,

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping

You're so poor that yesterday I saw your mother

A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped

Two gay men are walking down the street trying

A blonde and her father are walking down a street

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her

A little boy, wearing a big red fire hat, was riding

One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down

Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a

Three tampons are walking down the street, a small

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay

Being a huge Elvis fan, a pretty, young woman strolled

One Friday, two women were sitting and talking.

Why are fire engines red? You'd be red too

There were these two bums and they were hungry

One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago

Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?

The preacher was very distraught after the death

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and

Two old ladies were standing on a street corner

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

Two pretzels were walking down the street........one

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street

Why did the stoplight turn red? You would turn

Three men were walking down a street and found

A blonde was walking down the street with shower

Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons.

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

A married couple was walking down the street when

A man was walking down the street and saw an

There was this little boy who had no name. One

A man walks up to a stranger in the street. "Do

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

A penguin was driving his car down the highway

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

Q: What is the only instrument the Backstreet Boys

A twenty-five-year-old man walks into a bar and

You are so poor, you were kicking a coke bottle

A man was out of town on business. While sitting

Why did the dead baby cross the street? To get

In the suburbs, there's grass. In the ghetto,

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled

One day a little girl came running into her house

A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians

The Tomato family is walking down the street. There's

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the

What do you call a line of blondes? Easy Street

A prostitute on the street was approached by a

Why do they put guys in road construction? So

There was a guy walking down the street in San

It's wise to remember how easily e-mail can be

A man and woman had a son but when he was born

Yo mama's like a 7-11, open 24 hours a day on every

Two potatoes are walking down the street. One

One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the

Fred, Bob, and Mike were driving down the street

Susan was standing on a street corner when Bob

This Koala bear hires a hooker on the streets of

There was a guy walking down the street when he

One day there were three boys walking down the

One night, a cabbie was driving through the streets

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street

Why did the calf cross the street? To get to

A Russian couple were walking down a street in

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window

John went on vacation to Helopisa. As soon as he

Did you hear that former American Olympian Picabo

A Russian guy was walking down the street when

One day Reverend Smith went to visit Mrs. Jenkins,

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig

Yo' mama's so hairy, she was walking down the street

Jeremy and Kris are walking down the street and

Two blondes are walking down the street when one

There was an old lady walking down the streets

One day, a mother was taking a bath when her 5

Your mama's so fat she has to walk in the street

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having

One day Bill Clinton decides to go on a jog. While

Two sperm are walking down the street. How do

There was a hooker who lived in a condo on Lake

When they made you, they broke the mold. Then,

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest senator

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

It seems there was two brothers by the same name

    Johnny meets a girl on the street.

After several years of serving the church in a

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

A man was walking down the street when he noticed

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne

13> "None for me, thanks.  That

Harry and Martha were sitting down to their usual

-It is always possible to park directly outside

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

One day two deaf-mutes meet on the street. They

    The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor

From an article in the Wall Street Journal, about

In California Unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for

The George W Bush Presidential Lie-berry is now in the planning stages. You'll want to be the first

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other

I believe in having sex on the first date. At my age, there may not be a second date. Senior Campbell's

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out. A

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

It's wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags, one in each hand. There's

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this

In a small town in alabama, joe bob decides it's time for his cousin, 19 year-old Billy Bob, to learn

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

A friend of mine has a big Labrador retriever. While I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart

Subject: Story with a Moral Story with a Moral In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I

1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks. 2. No changing your oil in the street. 3.

An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer

A guy was walking down the street when he was startled to see a beautiful, young nude girl running

A Mexican family crosses the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are supposed

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all

"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. "It was

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

In a small town in Tennessee, Big Bubba decides it's time for his son, 18 year old Billy Bob, to

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table,

The Doctor said: "The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require

The Sheriff in a small Texas town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After

A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step,

Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year

Ben was working at the lumberyard one day, pushing a tree through the saw, when he accidentally cut

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer!"

A lady was standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when she happened to notice a weight machine.

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Billy Bob that she would send someone

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour. 'Do you do custom work?' she asks the artist. 'Why of course!' 'Good.

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th

A philosopher went into a closet for ten years to contemplate the question, What is life? When he came

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should

Seems this hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua. As

A Polish man was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. He ran into one of his friends,

There were two factories in New York City. One of them made maternity frocks for expectant mothers,

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months,

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do,

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell

A woman's husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on

A mafia Don was golfing with two golf associates: a deaf man and his interpreter lawyer. Since the

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop somewhere in Washington DC. Picking through the objects

Hank was amazed at the length of the funeral procession going down Main Street. Watching awhile he

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says:

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more