stuck

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what

A telephone rang, and someone picked it up.A voice from the other side said, "Is your number 444 444

The other day, my friends and I went to a "Ladies Night Club."One of the girls wanted to impress the

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts

A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips and lands preadlegged on the bathroom

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because

Once upon a time there were three little pigs.

A football coach noticed that his star tackle,

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A:

Your mama is so nasty, when you said, "Mama, what

Three men had been stuck on an island for ten years. Just

Osama and Saddam are walking through a desert when

One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were all

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on

Why did George Bush cross the road? Beause his

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He

Three couples went to see a minister to find out

Robbie Williams and Elton John are walking down

A man walks into his doctor's office and whines,

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one

Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt

When I was young, I had no sense, Stuck my dick

Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a

Yo mama is so ugly, she stuck her face in cookie

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic

The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''

Three nuns went to a football game and three men

One day there was a woman who was about to have

There's this midget with a speech impediment who

Q: Why did the gum cross the road? A: Beacause

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Jack jumped over

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady

One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone

Q: Why did the Pervert cross the road? A:

There was a guy that was stranded on an island.

A man was driving along a dusty road, when he ran

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock

Yo mama's ass is so jiggly, I heard Bill Cosby

Three tampons are walking down the street, a small

A lady with a frog stuck to her head comes to the

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said,

Two guys were driving down the road when they

Guys are so crazy... I told this guy that the

One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman

A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down

One day a man was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic,

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch

A couple went to church every week, but every

This guy with a really small head walks into a

This mafia family was in need of a collection

A man named Jed went hunting near the border of

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on

Yo' mama so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window

A man went into a restaurant and ordered his meal.

A leprechaun and his friend walked into a bar one

A man walked into the doctor's office and said,

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She

You wake up face down on the pavement. You

There is this dumb blonde who likes animals, but

Yo mama is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon

One day, three flies were sitting in a garbage

The horniest guy in the world is stuck on an island

Man visits doctor with apple stuck in mouth,

A happy little mouse was walking along one day

Yo' mama so dumb she stuck the phone up her ass

An atomic bomb went off in Washington and everyone

Yo' mama so fat when she went to St. Louis she

Yo mama's so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam

This lady is throwing a party where each guest

Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing.

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley

Ã, Ã, Ã,  A truck driver was driving along

      AT&T fired President John

The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies

A man staggers into an emergency room with two

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife

    Stupid people should have to

A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking

Ã, Ã, Ã,  If you receive an e-mail

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit." "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch." "He

A truck driver was driving along the freeway saw a sign that read, 'Low Bridge overhead' but, before

"I'm sorry doctor, I know this is unusual but I seem to have a lettuce stuck in my bottom!" "Good

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It's not my fault, Miss Crabtree. You

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck

Ma was in the kitchen fiddlin around when she hollars out... "Pa you need to fix the outhouse!" Pa

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired. 2. What's the definition of a will? (It's

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death they are close to just

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and

Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa, You need to go out and fix the

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the

Students in an advanced biology class were taking a mid-term. The last question, worth 70 points or

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting

A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men.

A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five

1.) "If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at

A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl,

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women." "Yeah what happened?"

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony,

During an Army war game a commanding officer''s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging

A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at