Jokes
These pop-ups are being considered for the XP upgrade
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to
Girlfriend 1.0 software
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently
Strange Happenings
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed
Idiot Luck
Three guys died and went to heaven. St Paul was there looking down at the three of them, one is a reknowned
Labor Pains
A Husband and Wife go to the hospital to deliver their child. The doctor meets them and tells them that
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to
Mysterious death
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive
Zoltrog Jokes
1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap
"Cocaine is a hell of a drug"
Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are
New Year's Resolutions You CAN Keep
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising.
Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all
Punchlines With Absolutely No Context
ââ,¬Å"No, no, no!ââ,¬Â said the penguin,
Things I Learned From Movies
1. If being chased through town, you can usually
Software Upgrade
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from
Vetoed Valentine Promotions
Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect
People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize
1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have
Hans Across Iraq
Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good
Hollywood Lessons
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered
Santa Singh
A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the
Tech Glossary
486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
George W. Bush Quotes
All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George
Dubya Quotes
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George
NOAH's ARK - A Modern Tale
And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm
Thoughts on Religion
Q: Will I be reincarnated? A: Not unless there
Chinese Phone System
Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone
26 Things the Movies Taught You...
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City
Thank You For Flying With Us
A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had
Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0
MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last
Windows 95
Windows 95: 32-bit extensions and a graphical
Systems Engineering Humor
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a
Female Rejection Lines
10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You
Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced
Rare Disorder
A man sees a growth coming out from the center
GirlFriend 1.0 - Software Helpline Excerpt
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend
Why Coffee Is Better Than Women
You don't have to put cream in your coffee to
Programmer Lines for When their Programs Fail
20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's
Engineers and The Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together
Stupid, Stupid People
AT&T fired President John
Real Stories of the Non-Technical
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.
Rating Gals
Two cowboys are leanin' up against the rail at
Who Runs the Human Body?
In the human body, which organ is in charge? All
The Fireman's Great Idea
A fireman came from work one
More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T
Bring Your Daughter to Work Day
A man comes home with his little daughter, whom
Rumored Corporate Mergers
It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was
Microsoft in Detroit?
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies
-It is always possible to park directly outside
More Stupid Quotes
On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: It's
Celebrity Computer Viruses
Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory
Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer
Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer If a packet hits
Donny's Homework
Donny is a 17-year-old ninth grader who is becoming
From the WordPerfect Help Desk
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.
Add It Up: Relationship Guide
For all you guys out there who
Piss And Moan
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her
Sure Cure
"Doctor, my child has swallowed a magnet!" "Don't panic, the magnet should pass through his system
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does
Best Salesman
Three salesmen were bragging who is the best. The first said, that he is so good he sold a color
Irish Transportation
The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod
A Modern Day Parable
A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race
Credit Cards
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly,
Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to
Halloween at a Hospital
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his
Things toddlers eat....
Panicking when her toddler swallowing a tiny magnet; my sister, Betty, rushed him to the emergency
Funny Windows Messages for 2006
1.Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2.Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3.Press
Murphy's Technology Laws
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method
Ten Husbands
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told
New Virus Warning
here is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer
ine Investment tips for 2006
Investment tips for 2006.... for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers
Panexa
No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your
30 Years Difference
1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual
Best Out of the Office Messages
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared
Computer Quotes
"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory
Noah in America
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once
New Windows Messages
The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the Windows XP: 1. Enter
Health Advice
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only
Girlfriend 7.0
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the
2005 Darwin Awards
[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who
George W. Bush Quotes
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on
Indisputable truths
10 INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. Elvis is dead. 2.
Attainable New Year's Resolutions
This year, I resolve to ... 1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3.
Old Lady's Phone
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends
Advice From Tech Support
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down
Tech Support
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers. Customer:
Microsoft vs GM
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
New Software System
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.
Virus Alert
An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you
The Way It Was
An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US
Job Assignment
Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and
Relationship Guide
Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
A Kinder, Gentler System
A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on
Fireman Sex
A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at
Polishing Apples
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool
Little Johnny's Grandmother
Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go
A programmers experience of sexual intercourse
Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason