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Jokes

These pop-ups are being considered for the XP upgrade

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to

Girlfriend 1.0 software

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

Strange Happenings

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

Idiot Luck

Three guys died and went to heaven. St Paul was there looking down at the three of them, one is a reknowned

Labor Pains

A Husband and Wife go to the hospital to deliver their child. The doctor meets them and tells them that

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

Mysterious death

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

Zoltrog Jokes

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug"

Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are

New Year's Resolutions You CAN Keep

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising.

Words Of Wisdom, Graduates!

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

Punchlines With Absolutely No Context

ââ,¬Å"No, no, no!ââ,¬Â said the penguin,

Things I Learned From Movies

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

Software Upgrade

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from

Vetoed Valentine Promotions

Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect

People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

Hans Across Iraq

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

Hollywood Lessons

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered

Santa Singh

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

Tech Glossary

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

George W. Bush Quotes

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

Dubya Quotes

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

NOAH's ARK - A Modern Tale

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

Thoughts on Religion

Q: Will I be reincarnated? A: Not unless there

Chinese Phone System

Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone

26 Things the Movies Taught You...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

Thank You For Flying With Us

A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had

Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

Windows 95

Windows 95: 32-bit extensions and a graphical

Systems Engineering Humor

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a

Female Rejection Lines

10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You

Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

Rare Disorder

A man sees a growth coming out from the center

GirlFriend 1.0 - Software Helpline Excerpt

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

Why Coffee Is Better Than Women

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to

Programmer Lines for When their Programs Fail

20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's

Engineers and The Human Body

Three engineering students were gathered together

Stupid, Stupid People

      AT&T fired President John

Real Stories of the Non-Technical

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

Rating Gals

Two cowboys are leanin' up against the rail at

Who Runs the Human Body?

In the human body, which organ is in charge? All

The Fireman's Great Idea

    A fireman came from work one

More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

Bring Your Daughter to Work Day

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom

Rumored Corporate Mergers

It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was

Microsoft in Detroit?

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

-It is always possible to park directly outside

More Stupid Quotes

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's

Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer

Dr. Seuss as Technical Writer If a packet hits

Donny's Homework

Donny is a 17-year-old ninth grader who is becoming

From the WordPerfect Help Desk

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.

Add It Up: Relationship Guide

    For all you guys out there who

Piss And Moan

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

Sure Cure

"Doctor, my child has swallowed a magnet!" "Don't panic, the magnet should pass through his system

Is Windows a Virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does

Best Salesman

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best. The first said, that he is so good he sold a color

Irish Transportation

The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod

A Modern Day Parable

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

Credit Cards

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly,

Murphy's Laws of Computing

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to

Halloween at a Hospital

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his

Things toddlers eat....

Panicking when her toddler swallowing a tiny magnet; my sister, Betty, rushed him to the emergency

Funny Windows Messages for 2006

1.Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2.Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3.Press

Murphy's Technology Laws

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

Ten Husbands

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

New Virus Warning

here is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer

ine Investment tips for 2006

Investment tips for 2006.... for all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers

Panexa

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

30 Years Difference

1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual

Best Out of the Office Messages

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared

Computer Quotes

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

Noah in America

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

New Windows Messages

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the Windows XP: 1. Enter

Health Advice

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

Girlfriend 7.0

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

2005 Darwin Awards

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

George W. Bush Quotes

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on

Indisputable truths

10 INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. Elvis is dead. 2.

Attainable New Year's Resolutions

This year, I resolve to ... 1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3.

Old Lady's Phone

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

Advice From Tech Support

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down

Tech Support

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers. Customer:

Microsoft vs GM

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto

New Software System

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.

Virus Alert

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

The Way It Was

An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US

Job Assignment

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and

Relationship Guide

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

A Kinder, Gentler System

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

Fireman Sex

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at

Polishing Apples

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

Little Johnny's Grandmother

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go

A programmers experience of sexual intercourse

Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason