teacher

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy

The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class the following question, " What is

mom: "wake up son, it's time for you to go to school."son: "but mom, i don't wanna go to school."mom:

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.Four worms were placed

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

A boy and a girl in a PAP Kindergarden.The teacher gave the children some homework to do at home, and

A few fraternity brothers needed to fill a science requirement in order to graduate, so they spent weeks

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class: "Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

A teacher asks her class, ââ,¬Å"If there

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and

1. Gangrene 2. New Car 3. Burn Victim 4. Dimetapp 5.

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked,

Little Mary always fell asleep at Sunday school

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little

One day a teacher told her students to draw a train

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

There was a little girl named Fufu. She went

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

Did you here about the cross-eyed teacher? She

One day the Sunday school teacher asked what part

On the first day of school in Houston, a teacher

Why has the Enron scandal been so hard on ESL teachers? Because

According to a news report, a certain private school

An English professor told her students that there

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

Little Johnny walks into the classroom and says,

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

On the first day of school, a teacher asked her

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.

A 6'4'' ninth grader was acting up in class.

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees

Why'd the boy eat his homework? His teacher told

One fine day in the middle of class at school,

The Li'l Rascals are sitting in class and the teacher

Boy: Will you punish me for something i didn't

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to

One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the

Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her

Your armpits smell so bad that the teacher gave

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The

A kid was late for school one day. "I had to take

There is this third grade class with this kid named

It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher

One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone

One day a teacher went into her class room and

Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach

"Jimmy," says the teacher, "what would happen if

Good: Your children are sexually active. Bad: With

A grade school teacher comes into class one morning

Little Johnny has to write a story about someone

1) In the middle of class, run to the middle of

A redneck teacher decides to give her class a small

A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but

A little boy was in school, he raised his hand

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids

One day there were four people absent from class.

Teacher to student: Arnold what is the most popular

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very

One day four boys were playing soccer in the schoolyard.

Once there was a substitute teacher taking over

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

A teacher was having a tasting day where she would

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his

In the suburbs, there's grass. In the ghetto,

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment

One day a teacher was teaching a fourth grade class

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could

A boy was in school and the teacher asks him, ''Bobby,

The teacher was checking her student roster on

Mother: Come on, Victor, you have to get out of

A first-grade teacher asks her students to give

There were once three boys in a classroom called

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, when

Children were called upon in a classroom to make

Two 6 year old boys were attending religous school

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

10. Likes people that oppress him: teachers, parents,

A math teacher and his wife were both 54 years

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom

A grade school teacher was asking students what

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her

It was this little girl's first day of school and

How many teachers does it take to change a light

A kid stands up in class and says, "Teacher, teacher,

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds

Teacher: John, give me a sentence using the word,

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology

One day the pre-school teacher said, “We're

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

Three friends die in a car accident and they

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You

One day when the teacher walked to the black board,

Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of

An Ohio State University mortician student walked

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

It is near the end of the school year.  The

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment

    An OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY mortician

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it,

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

The Best and Worst Comments Received: "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It's not my fault, Miss Crabtree. You

A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his

your breasts must think i'm good lookin cause they keep lookin at me. Hey baby, you keep running

One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

During the banquet celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on

A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very

One day, a kindergarten teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class "What part of your body do you think

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

A group of previous kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "Out

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone

It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four worms were

A science teacher asked her students "Children, if you could own one mineral what would it be? one

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny,"

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would

Man Struck by Lightning faces Battery Charge Astronaut takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft Kids

At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher

Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200,"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing

Teacher asked her class to use 'definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, "The sky

There was a girl who went to sunday school and always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked and pointed

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th

"What's the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the woodwork teacher asked Judi, the

The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsy," one child answers. "And

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she

A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy

A chemistry instructor wanted to teach his ninth grade class about the evils of liquor, so he created

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment,

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the

Times change. Recently there was a demonstration by a large number of students at several Howard

Little Johnny goes to class one day to find that he has a substitute teacher. As the class gets settled

A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But

The teacher asked little Johnny, "What's two and two?". He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said,

A first grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom was real worried, and when she picked him up from school

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the

A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher: "Morning

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no