teeth

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

An Asian guy is having his "SNACK" (bread and jam) when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down

There was girl who was a prostitute, but her grandmother didn't know about her occupation.One day, the

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant.

Yo mama's teeth gap so big, she uses a gate for

Yo mama's teeth so yellow when she smiles, cars

A man walks into a bar and orders shots for the

How do you know the Toothbrush was invented by

Yo mama's breath stink so bad when she burps, her

EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants

You might be a redneck if your jack-o lantern on

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

How does Snoop Dogg keep his teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all

Road rage: Who gives a BEEP! Why not raise a

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't

What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's

Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when

1) You've ever had to lug a paint can to the top

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West

What did the man say to the toothpaste model after

What has 148 teeth and can hold back the incredible

You have "mint" breath. Mint to brush your teeth

What's worse than waking up in the morning after

A young boy caught sight of his mother changing

Why don't blondes use vibrators? They chip

Yo' mama's teeth are so yellow, she smiles and

The gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know

What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A

Yo Mama's teeth are so big, if she sneezes she'll

Your teeth are so crooked that when you smile,

What do you call a man with hair between his teeth?

Why do they call it a toothbrush instead of a teethbrush?

An old man and an old woman were sitting together

One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called

Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked that when she smiles

A group of students had a biology lab. As a part

There was a guy, who was the most buff guy, and

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay

One day a preacher goes to visit an elderly lady.

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a

Your teeth are so busted that you can kiss your

One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to

What goes moof? A cow with buck teeth.

An old man and a young man work together in an

You're so old, your teeth are like stars, they

Q: What do you call 32 Rednecks in one room? A:

(which in our society means over 25) An older

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name:

There was an elderly couple that went to McDonald's.

You have so many gaps in your teeth, it looks

Q: What do you get when you stick 32 rednecks in

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough

Q: What do you get when you line up 12 girls from

Q: How do you know how long a guy's been on a motorcycle?

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles

Yo mama's so funky she brushes her teeth with a

What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one

Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? A: The front

* We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare

Why are there hardly any dental professionals in

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she walked into

Q: What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster?

What has a mouth but no teeth? A river!

What has teeth but no mouth? A comb!

One day, Little Red Riding Hood is walking through

What has six boobs and five teeth? The night

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented

Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, her tonsils have

A blonde went to the dentist and the dentist told

Yo' Mama is so fat she uses redwoods to pick her

What is worse than waking up the morning after

Yo mama's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles

1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. 2.

What has 40 teeth and holds back a monster?

Yo' mama's breath is so nasty, when she burps her

A man goes into a sperm bank and says, "I'd like

Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked, each tooth has

Did you know that someone from West Virginia invented

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Yo' mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

Two old biddies were talking about their lives

During a busy pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport,

First and foremost, we are not obligated to do

The following letters were taken from an actual

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

13> "None for me, thanks.  That

You know your grandparents are doing it when... 10.

You might be a redneck if... ...the Jack-O-Lantern

Last name: ________________ First name (check

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes,

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, US troops in Afghanistan prove they've retained their sense

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of Sun City Christmas Shopper Seniors down a highway, when

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, "surely I Can't Look

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long 15. If I Can't Be

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

Ole and Sven from International Falls, Minnesota die and wake up in Hell. The devil stops in to check

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

1. What does the average Iowa player get on his SAT's? Drool. 2. What do you get when you put 32

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor. 9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth

10 INDISPUTABLE TRUTHS BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT: 1. Elvis is dead. 2.

1. Put bi-focals on . double check that you're with the right partner. 2. Set alarm on your clock

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

A Canadian is having his breakfast (coffee croissants, bread, butter and jam) when an American man,

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching

A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But

A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar

The tourist was admiring the Indian's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth,"

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer." The other replies, "That's

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous,