Jokes
Stupid warnings
Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate
Simple Math
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's
Memorandum
TO: All employeesFROM: The bossDATE: August 3, 2000RE: Foul LanguageIt has been brought to management's
Coffee and Captain
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain
Soy Toy
While going through his wifeââ,¬â"¢s dresser
New Rules For Employment
SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer
Taliban Poetic Justice
My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well,
Forest Gump
A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates,
Hell Freezes Over
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School
Proof That Santa Doesn't Exist - For Nerds!
There are approximately two billion children (persons
Women & Bodily Functions
Women do not snore, burp, sweat or pass gas. Therefore,
Suicide? Or Murder? Or Suicide?
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic
Words From Women
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
All-Purpose Excuse Form Letter
All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out
George Washington & Cherry Tree
There has been a recent discovery among archives
Historical Origin of The "Finger"
This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for
New Office Policy
Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see
Older Employees
Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are
Unethical?
Irish greyhound racing authorities have banned trainers from giving dogs the anti-impotence drug Viagra
Janitor or Millionaire
Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The
Take Off
A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain
The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men
1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think
Company Policy
Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see
Ultimate Rejection Letter
Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,
Aspiring Vet
There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as
PMS?
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal
Funny Lines
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. Marriage changes
Remember This At Christmas Time
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers
Swearing at Work
To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout
Flight 293
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the
Dear Employee
Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced
Rules of the South
Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let
Pink Ping Pong Balls
A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,
Going to War
Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President
Santa Claus:An Engineers Perspective
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa
Pinocchio
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having
Crossing the Border
Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them
Words for the Wise
1 . Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes
Sex on the Sabbath
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
Updated Employee Handbook
DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you
Last Laugh
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the
Cat in Heaven
The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.
Physical Chemistry Midterm
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer
Hypnotised Church Goers
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone
How to Clean your Mouse
This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral
A Cat in Heaven
A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice
In Good Hands?
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride
Child Custody
A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to
Two Spoons
At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their vest
Reasonable Doubt
A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there
In Thick Fog
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives