thinks

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup at his doctor's office. He says to the doctor, "I've

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he

St. Peter is leafing through the Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. After several minutes,

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gate, the angel tells Ford,"Well, you've been such a good

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom

Superman is flying around one day and he's feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari

A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.

Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg? A:

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on

Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros

Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors

One day in the middle of the desert a man's car

A blonde decides she wants to go ice fishing. So

George and Laura Bush were on a private jet en

There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck,

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Little David comes home from first grade and tells

Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on

Bush happens Life is like a box of chocolates.

George Bush is so dumb he thinks the Joint Chiefs

Yo mamma's so retarded, she thinks "yo mama" jokes

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor,

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

Two women, one from the north and one from the

A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant

One day, a farmer decides to buy a new rooster

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

A man with a fifty inch penis goes to the doctor

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were

A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he

Show me a man that thinks baseball is the national

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates,

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily

There is this third grade class with this kid named

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.

A lady walks into the local record store. "Do

This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets

A man is looking in the classified ads for a job.

Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling

There was this guy who always went out drinking

Joe walks into a bar. Joe's friend, Al, sits down

This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon

One day in the city a bus driver was making his

In the realm of the Mighty King Gates who has pulled

One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to

The world is going to end in three days, so God

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he

There was a soldier that enlisted in the army to

A birch and a beech tree grow up side by side in

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks

A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

Jesus and Moses went golfing. Jesus was about

Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over

A guy walks into a bar and he orders a whiskey.

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

A boy comes home one day and runs up to his mom.

A very thirsty guy realizes that he's just walked

A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes

A guy's driving down a country road when he comes

A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for

A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams

A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming

Two aliens land on the earth, near L.A. They get

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled

After a really good party a man walks into a bar

There was a chicken farmer who owned a talking

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in

On the night of the prom, a boy's girlfriend is

Why does a blonde smile at lightning? She

A drunk guy is telling a bartender how much he

Two guys both have 9 a.m. appointments at a vasectomy

One night, three guys are at a bar talking and

There was a guy walking down the street when he

There is this extremely horny guy who loves to

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool

A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe

A lady is in a confession booth. She says to the

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom

Yo Mama is so stupid, she thinks DNA is the National

A man walking his son in the park one day came

A guy goes over to his friend's house and knocks

A tourist has been visiting Cuba for a week. He

This guy comes home from work one day to find his

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little

There's a woman that has a big problem when it

A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting beside

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three

She is so blonde, she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied

Two couples were playing cards.  John accidentally

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park

    This is an actual job application

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock

A gentleman is sitting next to the Pope on an airplane.

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology

   As you grow older, what lost

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog,

A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star

This guy is not getting along so well with his

A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around

When you are dating..... Farting is never an

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

A man and a woman who have never met before find

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend,

Monica's Diary Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,

A man walks into a Doctors office and puts a note on the table in front of the Doctor. The note says:

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: How is the singing career

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's

A dog thinks, "Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house,

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife

Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in. She says, "You've got

FEMALE POEM I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long. One who

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 9. He is starting to develop a crush

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and

A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks. "I have to be honest with you" the woman says as

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

John and his wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven,

Female Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep , I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "Out

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,

I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor. "Has she started to

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass. Impotence...Nature's way of saying

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

A man was traveling north to Alberta. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into

Two 90-year-olds had been dating for some time, when the man told the woman, "I think it's time we

18. If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!" 17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him

Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring

God and Adam are talking in the Garden of Eden one day and God asks "How are you doing?" Adam replies

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers the door. "Hi, is Tony

Through the center of Czechoslovakia there's a train speeding along. In one compartment of the train

Prince Charles finds an ancient wine bottle in the cellar of Windsor Castle. When he opens it a genie

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates,

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving,

One day the Pope is coming to America in his Limo and he said to the driver, "Why don't you let me

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The

A woman's husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom was real worried, and when she picked him up from school

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is Tony home?"

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food

A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The

A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father