Jokes
A computer walks into a bar
A computer walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender looks over at him and says,
Old Ghost Face
Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10
Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,
Three Worst Chinese Torture
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's
Five More Yards
In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase
Irish Pub Sausage
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't
Bill and Hillary
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at
Bra Shopping
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed
An OD on Nyquil will do this...
It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering
Yo mama sooooo dumb
Yo mama so dumb, when she threw a rock at the ground
Your mom is so stupid...
Your mom is so stupid, she threw a rock at the
A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees ...
A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like
A Brunette a red head and a blonde were in ...
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail
Hot Lunch
There were two bums walkin down a road. They both
Don't Eat the Brown Ones
A guy took his girlfriend to the movies. During
Don''t Say a Word
Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally
Ancient Chinese Torture
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when
Superbaby!
A man was nervously pacing around the waiting room
Taking the Bullet
Two guys are drinking together, when one of them
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton...
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at
God Made Eve First
In this world God made Eve first and one day he
Atlanta Man in New York
A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered
Yo mama's so stupid... baseball
Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Nouveau Riche Blonde
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went
Gotcha!
Three nuns were taking a walk one day. ''I was
Californiacation
A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all
Please Grab!
A woman went into a department store and told the
Monster Tag
There was a guy driving down the road when he ran
Blonde Fired
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Personal Inaccuracy
Your aim is so bad that you threw a rock at the
Sex Sandals
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They
Yo Mama's House Is So Small
Yo mama's house is so small, I threw a rock in
The Train, the Soldier and the Poodle
After World War II, an American soldier was going
Miracle Drug
So this lady goes to her doctor and explains that
That's Really, Really Nasty & Practical
3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in
Madonna, Britney and Christina
Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney
The Most Gruesome Death
There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate
Punny Pun Pun
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but
Yo Mama's So Fat... Zoo
Your Mama is so fat that when she went to the zoo,
Golf On The Sly
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a
Video Blonde
Did you hear about the blonde and the weight loss
Sharing
A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and
Take what you want
One day Ed, known for always being broke and shabby,
Last Things You Wanna Hear From a Cop
10) This doesn't look anything like you... 9)
Church
One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother
Spell Check
Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea
Blonde Smoker
How did the blonde girl put out her cigarette?
Buttered Corn, Yum
Once upon a time there were three men lost in a
Yo mama's So Stupid...Penguin
Yo mama is so stupid she went to the Empire State
Snail Charity
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when
You So Ugly
You so ugly, when you were born, yo' mama threw
Up or Down
An elderly couple decided to take a cruise to spice
The Back Door...Toothpick
One night a bartender was closing up his bar and
Flea Explorers
A woman went camping and while she was out she
Three Desperate Men
There were three extremely poor men. They were
Phone Line
A young businessman had just started his own firm.
Straight Leper Flush
Did you hear about the leper poker game? One
Rubbing Her The Right Way
A few months after his parents were divorced, Little
The Engineer and the Bike
Two engineering students were walking across campus
Oversensitive About His Missing Ears
Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,
Keeping In Under The Kilt
In Scotland, the most important time for a young
Three nuns were talking...
Three nuns were talking. "I
Prime Minister's Wife Makes a Faux Pas
When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public
Big Ten Alumni Mountain Climbing Trip
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one
Shoot The Pig
A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking
Dog Train
During WW II an American soldier had been on the
Blonde Loses Sweet Job
Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the
Bubba's New Truck
One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba
The Nightie
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black
Bad Daddy
One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking
Halloween at a Hospital
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his
Husband's Story
The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,
Living Will
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live
Twas the Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse. The
Vegetative State
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never
Football Star
The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was
The Way Children See Things!
NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible
Cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite
The Bucking Bronco
A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him
The Tables are Turned
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured
The Man Code
1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually
Gay Gorilla
Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they
Bra Size
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one
The Apartment Building
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,
How I Got to Heaven
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,
The Felix Crash
Felix from the odd couple went on a ballon ride. He did not have enough hot air and crashed in a remote
Credit Card Fun
A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and
Blatant Racial Discrimination
A first grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice
Head of an Indian
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying
Work Accident
Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.