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Jokes

A computer walks into a bar

A computer walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender looks over at him and says,

Old Ghost Face

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10

Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,

Three Worst Chinese Torture

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Five More Yards

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

Irish Pub Sausage

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't

Bill and Hillary

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

Bra Shopping

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed

An OD on Nyquil will do this...

It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering

Yo mama sooooo dumb

Yo mama so dumb, when she threw a rock at the ground

Your mom is so stupid...

Your mom is so stupid, she threw a rock at the

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees ...

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like

A Brunette a red head and a blonde were in ...

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail

Hot Lunch

There were two bums walkin down a road. They both

Don't Eat the Brown Ones

A guy took his girlfriend to the movies. During

Don''t Say a Word

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

Superbaby!

A man was nervously pacing around the waiting room

Taking the Bullet

Two guys are drinking together, when one of them

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton...

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

God Made Eve First

In this world God made Eve first and one day he

Atlanta Man in New York

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

Yo mama's so stupid... baseball

Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

Nouveau Riche Blonde

There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went

Gotcha!

Three nuns were taking a walk one day. ''I was

Californiacation

A Texan, a Californian and a Seattlite were all

Please Grab!

A woman went into a department store and told the

Monster Tag

There was a guy driving down the road when he ran

Blonde Fired

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

Personal Inaccuracy

Your aim is so bad that you threw a rock at the

Sex Sandals

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They

Yo Mama's House Is So Small

Yo mama's house is so small, I threw a rock in

The Train, the Soldier and the Poodle

After World War II, an American soldier was going

Miracle Drug

So this lady goes to her doctor and explains that

That's Really, Really Nasty & Practical

3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in

Madonna, Britney and Christina

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney

The Most Gruesome Death

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

Punny Pun Pun

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

Yo Mama's So Fat... Zoo

Your Mama is so fat that when she went to the zoo,

Golf On The Sly

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

Parrot Talk

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

Video Blonde

Did you hear about the blonde and the weight loss

Sharing

A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and

Take what you want

One day Ed, known for always being broke and shabby,

Last Things You Wanna Hear From a Cop

10) This doesn't look anything like you... 9)

Church

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother

Spell Check

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea

Blonde Smoker

How did the blonde girl put out her cigarette?

Buttered Corn, Yum

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Yo mama's So Stupid...Penguin

Yo mama is so stupid she went to the Empire State

Snail Charity

A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when

You So Ugly

You so ugly, when you were born, yo' mama threw

Up or Down

An elderly couple decided to take a cruise to spice

The Back Door...Toothpick

One night a bartender was closing up his bar and

Flea Explorers

A woman went camping and while she was out she

Three Desperate Men

There were three extremely poor men. They were

Phone Line

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

Straight Leper Flush

Did you hear about the leper poker game? One

Rubbing Her The Right Way

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little

The Engineer and the Bike

Two engineering students were walking across campus

Oversensitive About His Missing Ears

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

Keeping In Under The Kilt

In Scotland, the most important time for a young

Three nuns were talking...

    Three nuns were talking. "I

Prime Minister's Wife Makes a Faux Pas

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public

Big Ten Alumni Mountain Climbing Trip

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one

Shoot The Pig

A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking

Dog Train

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

Blonde Loses Sweet Job

Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the

Bubba's New Truck

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba

The Nightie

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black

Bad Daddy

One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking

Halloween at a Hospital

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his

Husband's Story

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

Living Will

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live

Twas the Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse. The

Vegetative State

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never

Football Star

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was

The Way Children See Things!

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite

The Bucking Bronco

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him

The Tables are Turned

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured

The Man Code

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

Gay Gorilla

Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they

Bra Size

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one

The Apartment Building

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

How I Got to Heaven

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

The Felix Crash

Felix from the odd couple went on a ballon ride. He did not have enough hot air and crashed in a remote

Credit Card Fun

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

Blatant Racial Discrimination

A first grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice

Head of an Indian

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying

Work Accident

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.