toilet

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register

Q: Why was Tigger sticking his head in the toilet? A:

Men are like toilets, they're either taken, unavaliable,

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front

Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors

Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?

A redneck taped toilet paper to his television. He

Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German,

Q: What''s the connection between The Star Trek

* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound

The American Dairy Association was so successful

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party? Becase

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

According to a news report, a certain private school

If you think no Christmas dinner is complete

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

A woman goes to a plastic surgeon who specializes

Fred and his brother, "Donkey" walk into a pub

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet? The Captain's

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's

Yo mama is so short, that she can run track around

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

A mid 20's bachelor walks into a grocery store

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club,

A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously

You're so skinny that you use dental floss as toilet

One fine day in the middle of class at school,

Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a

One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says,

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies

I hate to brag, but if I was sitting on the toilet,

There was a guy on a golf course that he had never

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet

Men are like toilets -- either they're taken, or

1.Come out of the stall with wet hands. 2.Pour

When the toilet paper of experience is depleted,

How many animals can you fit on a toilet ?

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and

What do anniversaries and toilets have in common?

Do you know how to cook toilet paper? Brown

One day a woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking

1. Throughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required

What is the difference between a waitress and a

How many men does it take to put down a toilet

A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized

Y'might be a redneck, if you clean your toilet

Your mama's so poor, she has to rinse & reuse toilet

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

Q: How are toilets different from women? A:

(Attention: This must be read with an Italian accent,

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each

One day, Mrs. James was taking a shower, when suddenly

10) When people go the speed limit in the fast

Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food. CHECKOUT LADY:

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but

Yo' mama so fat, she got shocks on her toilet!

Q: What did Shakespeare say while he was shopping

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.

A man was grocery shopping one day when he passed

How many men does it take to change a roll of

Yo Mama is so skinny, that you had to use dental

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie

What do a man and a public toilet have in common?

1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead

A football player walked into a motel on a rainy

One day, three flies were sitting in a garbage

Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet

1. Not the brightest crayon in the box 2. Not

How many men does it take to put down a toilet

There is this couple, and the wife is very self

A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You

Belts. Women use belts an an accessory, guys use

To my darling wife: During the past year,

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to

Yo mama's like a toilet -- round, white and smells

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl? A:

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty

A man was heading to England and his next-door

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A:

Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet

You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

"I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going

Are you considering having children? To determine

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife

Run one lap around the office at top speed

    For all you guys out there who

Ã, Ã, Ã,  If you receive an e-mail

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! 2.

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if

Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......" 1. You take your dog for

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

Ma was in the kitchen fiddlin around when she hollars out... "Pa you need to fix the outhouse!" Pa

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

Enclosed is my 2005 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2.

A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night: 5%

You live in Arizona when.. 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa, You need to go out and fix the

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub, a week before Xmas, enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer getsdissatisfied with the level

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling. The

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. By mistake, St.Peter directs him to go below. So,

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to