tonight

The young man said to his sweetheart,"We're going to have a great time tonight. I have three theater

A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children

At Night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep, and the husband put his A typical married couple

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight.

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

A psychiatrist advised his timid little patient to assert himself. "Don't let your wife bully you. Go

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

Q: What did the pollock say when he ran into the

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

Halle Berry got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed,

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

What a woman says, what she really means... I

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

10. You look like a hooker I knew in Phoenix. 9.

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife:

Next on Entertainment Tonight, celebrity birthdays:

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning

This guy was having a problem with mice in his

''What are you doing tonight?'' asked the Air France

Bob just moved from New York City to Alabama. He

One night a man rolls over in bed and gives his

While he was rooting around in the basement, a

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm

A man with an average handicap decides to play

There was this guy who always went out drinking

There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton

10. SHE'S A GOBLIN! 9. I'D LIKE TO GET A LITTLE

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

A newlywed couple had a slight problem when it

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement

A young boy walks into a whore house dragging a

A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor

A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly

Two prostitutes are standing on the corner and

One day there were two men walking down a dirt

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they

Two guys are in mental instituition. One guy

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful

There's this husband and wife that have twin beds

A Russian guy was walking down the street when

This city guy just bought a 400 acre ranch. He's

What did one candle say to the other candle?

Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can

Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking

A college psychology class was studing human reaction

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only

Two old biddies were talking about their lives

A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

A young couple were married and they were having

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

(sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland) Dogs

A man and a woman who have never met before find

"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe"

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm

10. The quicker picker upper! 9. One a day,

Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House." He

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullsh*tted a bit,

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long 15. If I Can't Be

A redneck goes to a pharmacist and says, " I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some pertection.

"Are you religious? Because I could be the answer to your prayers." "Is there an airport nearby

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" A

Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! Wife: It won't take long. Husband: I won't be

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

One night, a little blind boy's mother said to him, "Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Cinnamon THINGS

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When

On the night of their 40th anniversary the reminiscing wife finds the negligee she wore on her wedding

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The

An elderly man was headed home in his car one evening, swerving and weaving on the road, when he was

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the

With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of