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Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw,

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children

An old man was sitting on a bench crying when a lady approached him and asked if she could help. The

Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady.After the wedding, he laid down the following

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

TO: All employeesFROM: The bossDATE: August 3, 2000RE: Foul LanguageIt has been brought to management's

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested, "I am looking for a spouse.

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest,

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five

One day Little Sally got her "monthly bleeding"

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. ââ,¬Å"Iââ,¬â"¢ve

A tribal leader finds that his wife has had a white

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

ââ,¬Å"No, no, no!ââ,¬Â said the penguin,

Understanding Marketing You see a fabulous girl/guy

James was on the beach, and could not understand

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

I saw an interview in which an expert on military

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Once again the female staff will be offering courses

One day a little boy asks his mom questions about

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions,

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case

JENNA'S PREDICAMENT Do we really wonder why Jenna

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

At one point during a game, the coach said to one

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People get really upset when you use the "F" word.

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor,

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

The preacher stood before the congregation. ''Brothers

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical

An eighty-year-old man is sitting on a park bench,

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE

A boy comes running into the kitchen and says,

A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

Love's a sensation caused by temptation, a guy

Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant

Little Tommy went into his parent's bedroom one

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery

A man went to England on a trip and met a woman

This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon

The European Union commissioners have announced

A guy goes golfing with his girlfriend. As he tees

In the realm of the Mighty King Gates who has pulled

A lady shows up at her doctor's appointment. The

Why are blonde jokes so short? So the guys telling

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

(which in our society means over 25) An older

(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask

When women see a ''caution'' sign, they carefully

1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in

Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina 10.

(Attention: This must be read with an Italian accent,

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

A man had an idea that could make him rich. After

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at

One day a father and son are flying a kite. The

A typical macho man married typical good-looking

A travelling salesman was out in the country one

There was a guy walking down the street in San

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking

Women claim that computers should be referred to

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and

Why don't men trust or understand women? Who

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

These three guys got together one day and were

Two guys were working for the city. One would

This newlywed couple is in bed and the man rolls

One time at a local golf course three shitty players

One day at the rest home, an old man and woman

A preacher's wife was contemplating what she

There's this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot

One day a new vacuum salesman is going door-to-door

There once a man who worked in a pickle factory.

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

Some pretty 'useful' phrases you, too, can use

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware,

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out

Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet

Two cowboys are leanin' up against the rail at

A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

This guy is not getting along so well with his

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife

When you are dating..... Farting is never an

13> "None for me, thanks.  That

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

    A sixty-four-year-old man is

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

    The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

A couple got married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs

Michael was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined

The Best and Worst Comments Received: "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a

A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a

To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to

Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to

The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day, walking

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this

During a visit to a hospital for the mentally infirm, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, and

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

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One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked,

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During

I think that 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was

Ole and Sven from International Falls, Minnesota die and wake up in Hell. The devil stops in to check

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks. 2. No changing your oil in the street. 3.

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards,

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning. Commandment

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving

A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. However, every time the kite gets

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven,

A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.

A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying, "It is impossible for your generation to understand

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t . 2. I don't know what your

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America. Well,

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2.

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried always to live right and be helpful. His brother

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

The local vicar is having a bath, and he's a little bored, so he decides to, 'pleasure' himself. He's

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation

Little Jenny walked into the kitchen one day and looked up at her mother, who was busy cooking dinner.

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store

The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day,

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says,

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

Jason wanted to get his blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, but also something

"Diane, I just don't understand?! I don't have a boyfriend or a husband, I can never get a date and

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

Lil' Johnny's mother took her 5 year old son with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They were in

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The

Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I

Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua. As

There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. Not knowing what to do, she

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so

An old married couple was sitting in their rocking chairs enjoying a beautiful sunset when the old

A man is in a bar and he gets really drunk and he goes home. He comes back the next day to get his

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the

A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so