usual

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

What are you doing when you see a beautiful woman? I usually download it.

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.While

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes,

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

I saw an interview in which an expert on military

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

10) You have to explain to most foreigners that

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

As a pre-med student at Washington University in

There once was a woman from France, Who did an

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white

One Friday night in San Fransisco, a man hops a

There were three NASCAR fans on their way to a

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

As usual, things were not going well at the United

Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken? Far

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But

Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red

A truck driver was driving down the highway when

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot

One day in the city a bus driver was making his

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday

A man is driving down the road and notices a car

A reverend was walking in a big city park, when

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year?

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out

A woman visits her physician. After waiting for

One day, on a trip to the Grand Canyon, three rednecks

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and

One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted

Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta? Oh,

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

A very respected Captain in the foreign legion

Element: Woman Symbol: Wo Discoverer: Adam

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends

Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet

    White House staffers were perplexed

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

Harry and Martha were sitting down to their usual

-It is always possible to park directly outside

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached

    Every night after dinner, Merle

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

Little Johnny grew up in the city, and went to visit his Uncle Joe on the farm. For the first few

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed

"I'm sorry doctor, I know this is unusual but I seem to have a lettuce stuck in my bottom!" "Good

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda,

Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While

Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde), and for some reason she

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing

Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.

Running Doe, a young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to

John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer.

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity. You are

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day

I know you have an interest in poker - here's a twist. Two couples were playing cards one evening.

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet. SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual

A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor... "I can't figure

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary in London, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all

It's even hotter than usual in Phoenix, 116 degrees sets a new record, the Associated Press reports: About

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch

Men are like ....... Laxatives ...... They irritate the @#%$ out of you. Men are like ........

A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for

One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners

Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license???"

A captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed

A husband went to work at 9 in the morning as usual. For some reason he had to be back home later during

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well

an elephant and a camel meet on a road: Elephantl: Say, why is it you camels have your breasts on