usually

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

What are you doing when you see a beautiful woman? I usually download it.

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

10) You have to explain to most foreigners that

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

As a pre-med student at Washington University in

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they

One Friday night in San Fransisco, a man hops a

There were three NASCAR fans on their way to a

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken? Far

Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red

A truck driver was driving down the highway when

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction

There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday

A man is driving down the road and notices a car

Golfer: Notice any improvement since last year?

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

A very respected Captain in the foreign legion

Element: Woman Symbol: Wo Discoverer: Adam

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

-It is always possible to park directly outside

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

    Every night after dinner, Merle

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think

Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various

Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde), and for some reason she

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing

Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet. SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all

Men are like ....... Laxatives ...... They irritate the @#%$ out of you. Men are like ........

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license???"

A captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed