Jokes
Deduction
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write
Dear Dad
A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything
Olympic Diving Champion
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't
New Ears
A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size
Trading Place
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see
It Happen At Church
A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what
Special Code
A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children
Wetting Finger
At Night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep, and the husband put his A typical married couple
Nerd
Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per
Diary of a Young Wife
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10
Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,
Squashed Frog
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a
Communication
A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your
Argument
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led
Flower Note
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
Ladies Night Club
The other day, my friends and I went to a "Ladies Night Club."One of the girls wanted to impress the
Custody
An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed
Martian
Two astronauts, a man and a women, were on a mission to go to Mars and make contact with intelligent
Marriage
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective
Fathered
There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided
Quick Wit
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."
Coffee
The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every
Innocent Kids
A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother.""Daddy
25th Anniversary
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.As the couple reflected on
FUNNY BUMPER STICKERS
1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.3. All Men Are Animals,
Language
One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt
Five More Yards
In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase
Password
A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a
A Used Motorcycle
There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping
Man vs Woman
RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and
Take all your clothes off
Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes,
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
Future Handicapping
George W. was out jogging one morning along the
Sister Mary Henry
A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.
Get yo fingers bit
Yo mama so fat when she went to KFC she asked for
Cash Flow
One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells
Friendly Neighbors
A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang.
Martin Scorscese is interviewing three ...
Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros
Running for Office
George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when
Wedding Hells
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist
A guy decides to buy a new...
A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the
There was a young girl who loved to wear ...
There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts
Hot Enough For You?
After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama
Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove ...
Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to
Did you hear about the boy bubble who chased...
Did you hear about the boy bubble who chased the
A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles ...
A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were waiting
First Class
A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the
Celebrity Sayings
Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother
Famous People and Chickens
Why did the chicken cross the road? ââ,¬Â¢
Perspective Lawyers
Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law
Code for Sex
There was a couple who did not want their children
One Drunken Night
A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,
Corn Hole
A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the
3 blondes jump off a building ...
Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They
Tiny Wish
A man is sitting in a pub, when a guy with an incredibly
10 Ways to Annoy Cops
Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going
Osama in the Holy Land
Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai? He
In-law vs Outlaw
What's the difference between an in-law and an
Life's Reflections
1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no
Sailors and Soldiers Should Be Friends!
A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite
How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look
Workplace Farting: Options Explored
Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking
Clinton Monument
Dear U.S. Citizens, I have the distinguished honor
Losin' It
A guy and a girl are lying in a dorm-room bed after
Final Exam Failure
Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't
NOAH's ARK - A Modern Tale
And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm
Talking Out of Your Ass
If I wanted to hear from an asshole I would fart.
The Paperboy
A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of
Blame Duke
There once was this guy who was going on a date
Respectfully Cheating
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding
Jesus and His Disciples
One day Jesus wanted to test his disciples. So
Wanted: Dead Or Alive
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an
Ya Wanna Find Jesus?
A drunk man stumbled into a church where there
Viagra + Eyedrops = ?
Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops? Because he
Bar: Horny Wife, Pooped Husband
A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously
The Clever Famer
Q: Why did the farmer plough his field with a steamroller?
The Call of Nature
One fine day in the middle of class at school,
And God Created...
God created earth, and it was good. Then God created
Hillbilly Newlyweds
A newly married hillbilly couple decided they wanted
Moron
Why did the moron throw the butter out the window?
Skull & Bones
Q: Why were the bones chasing the skull? A: Because
Honk If You Love Jesus
The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''
Skin Sculpture
One day, a man went into the doctor because he
Bumpersticker Bonanza
* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell
3 Couples, 2 Compliments, 1 Adventure!
Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted
Pizza, Pizza
A guy ordered a pizza, and Luigi behind the counter
Two Little Snakes
Two little snakes were hissing near their pit.
Bubba Gets Smart
Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great
Blonde Diet
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She
Blonde - Contractor
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house,
Please Grab!
A woman went into a department store and told the
Discrimination
It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The
The Rabbit and The Bear
A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he
Sticker Shock
Back in the day, when they stamped each can in
Chicken Engineering at Its Finest
In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors
Blonde Ice Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting
Blonde - Two Coats
A blonde decides to show her husband that despite
Comeback Nasty
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your
Lars the Weight-Loss Guru
This really fat guy wanted to lose weight. He tried
Got Milk?
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He
Blonde Counting Sheep
Once there was a blonde driving home from work
The Real Skywalker Lineage
(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.
The Bald Man
A bald man with one leg wanted to go to a fancy
Old People And Nastiness
A very old couple wanted to have children, so
Speed Demon
Harold and Lloyd were speeding down the road when
Bar: Tabletop Football
There was a guy, who was the most buff guy, and
One Man's Torture: A Golfing Tale
One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they
Crappy Date
This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to
Split Up The Middle
Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was
Snail Heads for the Daytona Tracks
There was this snail who wanted to be a Formula
The Sick Husband
There was a husband and a wife. The husband was
The Tired Genie
This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon
The Comeback Supremo
If I wanted any lip from you, I would jiggle my
The Dynamite Kid
There were these two people in a bar, a boy and
Fifty-Dollar Bet
This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home
President Clinton & the Pope
President Clinton and the Pope died on the same
Elvis in the Flesh
Being a huge Elvis fan, a pretty, young woman strolled
Yo mama's so stupid... plane
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her if she
The Prom Dress
A month before Prom night the daughter goes to
Out of T.P.
A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and
Dinner on the Road
There were these two bums and they were hungry
The Rescue
One day, three boys were walking over a bridge
Don't Let the Nun Go Down On Me
A man gets on a bus with only a nun and the driver.
Buy Another Condom, Fool
A guy is on a trip with his girlfriend and he only
The Soldier
There was a soldier that enlisted in the army to
Bar: A Weasel Ate My Genitals
A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano
A Nun and Her Donkey
A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race.
Bishop And The Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church
Paraplegic
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone.
Tatonka
There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his
That's Really, Really Nasty & Practical
3 bums were outside a bar.The first one went in
Barnyard Poem
The sky was dark The moon was high We were
The Firing Squad
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad
Donkey Joke
A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite
Ole and the Lefse
Ole was on his death bed. But before he died,
Good Can of Corn
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle
Screwed, For Sure
Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't
Punny Pun Pun
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but
Scratchy Lottery
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked
Fun With Cops
(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask
Small Town Justice
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist
Doing The Washing
A newlywed couple had a slight problem when it
Dirty Aliens
A married couple was walking down the street when
Lady At the Bar
There was a lady at a bar. Every time she wanted
You're So Fat... Good
You're so fat, Goodyear wanted to fly you over
Deadbeat in a Bar
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat
50 Things to Do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out
Men are Simple
Why did God invent a man first? She wanted
In-Laws and Out-Laws
What's the difference between out-laws, and in-laws?
The Skin Canoes
There were three guys who where rowing a canoe
Cheap Cat
One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich
Your Profession and Your Libido
A women is getting married for her fourth time
Spell L-O-V-E
A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on
Upholding the Cloth
A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn
Dead Frog
A young boy walks into a whore house dragging a
The Aggie
One day, on a trip to the Grand Canyon, three rednecks
Fascinating
A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use
The Tasteful Blind Man
A blind man walked into a diner and made a strange
Clemson Wedding -- A long, true story
This is a true story about a recent wedding that
Yo Mama's So Fat... Waterbed
Yo mama is so fat, when she wanted a water bed
Big Boss Man
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted
Highschool Sweethearts
There was once a pair of high school sweethearts.
The Holy Water
One day four nuns are called to the priests chambers.
Hotel Fun
Bill and Joe go into a hotel. The hotel has 100
Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced
The Fishing Spot
One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching
Lady's Butt
Q: Did you hear about the lady who wanted to buy
Hypnotist Blunder
A comedian, new to the profession, is looking for
So you want to marry a millionaire ?
A very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided
Whipping the Foreigners
Once a Frenchman, an Englishman and an Irishman
Code for Love
There was a couple who did not want their children
Torpedos
There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So
Asian Lady
There was an Asian lady who married an English
Dreams About Growin' Up
One day, three boys were talking about what they
Take My Wife, Please
* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's
Assisted Suicide
One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted
Top 10 Country Music Titles
1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven and Your Buns
Clinton on Halloween
A little boy wanted to be Bill Clinton for Halloween,
The Cowboy's Last Request
A long time ago, a cowboy was captured by the Indians.
Statue Fantasy
An old wizard was walking through a park when he
Chicken in the Road
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Bank Robbers
One night three guys wanted to rob a bank. They
Naked Olympic Pole Vaulting
A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking
The Man With No Voice
One night, a man with no voice and his friend went
Sperm Bank Robber
A masked man walks in to a sperm bank, pulls a
The Great Wiener Caper
One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the
A Sack Full of Chickens
One day there were two men walking down a dirt
Logical Nun
A nun was telling some other nuns about how she
Blonde's Backseat
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they
Why'd The Redneck?
Why'd the redneck cross the road? Because he
GirlFriend 1.0 - Software Helpline Excerpt
I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend
Come Early And Bring Your Lunch
A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,
Multi-Balls
Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality
Dwarf Sex
A dwarf and a normal woman met at a party. The
Stupid Joke
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?
Holiday in Ibiza
A man wanted to go on holiday in Ibiza because
Ghost story for tots
A football player walked into a motel on a rainy
Christmas Carol Parrot
A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday
Amorous Amish People! Kinky!
An Amish couple had just been married and had gone
Blonde and License Plates
A blonde wanted to buy personalized license plates
Wizard Wonders
There once was a toad who was a bit different than
Clinton in Oz
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and the Secretary of Defense
The Man Who Wanted To Quit Smoking
There was this guy who wanted to quit smoking.
Don't Kick the Animals, Man
A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his
Holy Lottery
One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor
The Lawyer & The Dead Man
A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,
Heaven vs. Hell
One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him
My Husband Likes To Watch
A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island.
Blonde Welfare
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
Mermaid Sex
This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He
Marital Mirth
A couple was getting ready to go out to celebrate
The Retirement Party
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the
Cheerleading Tryouts
One day two girls were trying out for the school
The Snail and the Dung Beetle
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village
Little Pianist
A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting beside
Two Men and A Refrigerator
Two men named Cecil and Scott live together. One
The Three Generals
The pentagon said they had too many generals running
Old People Get It On
Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get
Three Men Visit God on the Mountaintop
Three men heard rumors of a mountaintop where God
49ers New Hires
Why did the 49ers hire two nuns and a prostitute?
Interview Don'ts
A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major
New Yorker
A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a
A Crappy Date (A True Story)
Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy
The Special Birthday Frog
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend
What Do You Need So Much Milk for Ma'am?
A milkman was delivering on his round when he came
Grandma's Trip to Victoria's Secret
Grandma went into Victoria's Secret and wanted
Finding The Lord
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned
Special Delivery
It was mailman George's last day on the job after
Cute Little Sayings
1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs
The Geneology of Mr. Jack Schitt
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are
Words From Women
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
Stupid, Stupid People
AT&T fired President John
Man Quiz -- Are You Trained?
As you grow older, what lost
Exotic Male Dancer
The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies
Hot Temper-ature
A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of
Biker Bar Interview
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She
Tickle These, Elmo
A women desperately looking for work goes into
Bumper Sticker Sayings
1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
The Career Ambitions of Babies
There were three babies in a woman's womb, and
More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T
Dumb Crooks Roundup
BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME
West Virginia Custody Battle
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote
Keeping In Under The Kilt
In Scotland, the most important time for a young
You're Probably Aged 23 to 28
You learned to swim about the same time Jaws
Jock vs. Nerd
$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"
Men vs. Women vs. the Short Story
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are
Blonde Rolls Back The Odometer
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find
Dear God
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two
Clinton Bedtime Story
Bill and Hillary are fast asleep in the First Bedroom,
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken
Wife's Birthday
Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box. "It's my wife's
Gunfighting Tips
In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest
The Irish Virgin
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that
Chemistry Class
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor,
Chinese Business Trip
A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop
Mike is Dead
Donna's husband Mike died suddenly one day. Donna was taking care of the funeral arrangements with
$100.00
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then
50th Wedding Anniversary
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed
The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men
1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think
Waiting for the Bus
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capital building. Unfortunately,
Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..
What a Woman Really Wants
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
First Cut is the Deepest
Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were
Candles
Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various
Golf Story
A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'
Right Back At Ya!
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the
Grandma's Letter
Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear
PMS?
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal
Medication
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the
New Chevrolet
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,
The Druggist
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's
Big Feet
A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest
Butt Dust
What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original
Funny Lines
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. Marriage changes
Cowboy Boots
An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray had always wanted a pair of authentic
Two Widows
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me
Bad Puns...no really!
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors
Big Shot Jamaican
Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back
Top 16 Country Songs
16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long 15. If I Can't Be
Duct Tape
Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm
Heart Transplant
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor
Real Ads
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try
Bear Facts
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University
Trip to New York
A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York. She had just finished showering to dress for dinner
Brokeback Deputies
Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep
Died Suddenly
Donna's husband Mike died suddenly one day. Donna was taking care of the funeral arrangements with
Career Choices
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought
Blonde Cookbook
MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
Ten Husbands
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told
Men Are From Mars
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor
Auction
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this
Taxiway
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale
Little Cussing Johnny
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his
On the Way to Prison
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help
Texas Cowboy
Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her co-workers she had three goals for
Labrador Pup
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car
The Medal Of Freedom
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President
Beautiful Girl at Work
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's
Blonde Sayings
I think that 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think
A Christmas Greeting
I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to
George W.
George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing
Blonde Murder Victim
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego,
Sarcastic Remarks For Work
And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I
Dear Husband
Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been
Pick-Up Lines That Don't Work!
- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a
Spreading Ashes
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
Never Tick off a Nurse!
A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses
Wrong Choice
The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted
Strange and Funny Tombstones
Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In
Jewish Bra
A man walked into the women's department of Macy's in New York City.He found a saleslady, and told
Things You Can't Say With a Hallmark Card
1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted
The Experiment
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so
Custody of the Children
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The
Fishing Buddies
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and
The Letter
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything
New Boots
Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy
Marriage Quotes
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were
Redneck Divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for
Christ in the Bathroom
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused
Some Bumper Stickers Part 2
*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:
The Tables are Turned
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured
Oxymoronic Statements
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;
My Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has
Things you would love to say out loud at work....
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t . 2. I don't know what your
Lawyers Are Full Of Bull
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's
Frying Eggs
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
The Top 15 Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new
Miss America
They wanted to allow divorced women to compete in the Miss America pageant. Was that a good idea? Do
Why Men Are Men and Women Are Women ...
Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in
Osama Bin Laden Went to Heaven
After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven. There he was greeted by George Washington, who
Just Fred
A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that
Two Priests
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