weekend

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!"

10. For your birthday, you get the head of an infidel

This week, the Bush administration finally released

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

A manager at a General Store is teaching a young,

A Giants fan is in Baltimore for the weekend and

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

Bob just moved from New York City to Alabama. He

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the

The manager of a megastore came to check on his

One weekend, a husband, and wife were up in the

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for

Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends

One Friday, two women were sitting and talking.

Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he

10. You're so tired you now answer the phone,

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

Zeus and Thor are up on Mt. Olympus and Thor is

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom

Dan wakes up on Monday morning, staggers into the

There was a man once that was always talking about

Dear Tide, I have always used your product

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh

Willy, a mental patient, mimes driving a car as

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Two young guys were picked up

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"  We remain

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

    A young man just got a new job

    A herd of buffalo can only move

    The Penis requests a promotion

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant

Four college friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

A young girl from Ireland leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my

At a college with a shady reputation, the new dean responded to investigations into the basketball

I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses, I had

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

1) The new policy on sexual harassment includes your photo. 2) The Security guard makes a complete

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything-under-one-roof" department

A group of previous kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

John Madden was in Dallas to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special telephone

Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

A local man was found murdered in his home in California over the weekend. Detectives at the scene

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during on particularly

Four married men were golfing. While at the fourth hole, the first man said, "you have no idea what

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom was real worried, and when she picked him up from school