weeks

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

You may not be able to party after marriage if your wife is like this one.............:)Newlyweds This

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts

A few fraternity brothers needed to fill a science requirement in order to graduate, so they spent weeks

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days,

A guy was talking with his friend in a bar and told him, "My sex life sucks, just when things start to

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go

A trucker who has been out on the road for two

Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

A guy goes to his doctor because heââ,¬â"¢s

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American

A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't

Three blondes died and found themselves standing

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he

A husband is at home watching a football game when

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

Three couples went to see a minister to find out

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

A Jewish temple is looking for a way to get the

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies

Three couples went in to see the minister about

A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of

A business man is trying to find a potental wife.

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club,

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A:

A young priest is unhappy with how little money

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

A small north Florida wild animal park had acquired

This really fat guy wanted to lose weight. He tried

One day, Farmer Brown went behind his barn and

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

Maria gets married and has 17 children. Then her

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they

A young man wished to purchase a present for his

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to

A month before Prom night the daughter goes to

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

A guy went to the doctor to quit smoking, and the

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans.

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle

Three couples want to join a church, but the pastor

A newlywed couple had a slight problem when it

A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland.

The was a man named George who got a new job.

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

A mother had three daughters and at their weddings

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

There was a woman who was interested in getting

There was once a pair of high school sweethearts.

One day, a man had an accident at work, which resulted

1. You never run out of wheat 2. Those cool Saskatchewan

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

A beautiful middle aged woman finally decided to

A man was grocery shopping one day when he passed

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up.

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant

A young boy walks in on his mother in the bathtub.

Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter.

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take

A man and a woman meet in a hospital donation clinic.

There was a successful doctor who had an office

One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor

A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to

There is this couple, and the wife is very self

Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot

The following letters were taken from an actual

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

This guy is not getting along so well with his

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He

In Scotland, the most important time for a young

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

A young Bulgarian peasant girl of fourteen went

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Reaching the end of a job interview,

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad

A young female teacher was giving an assignment

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain

Three couples went in to see the minister to see

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two

In 1993, the American Government funded a study

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their commode. Finally,

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened Then

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb

It Was Already Late Fall And The Indians On A Remote Reservation In South Dakota Asked Their New Chief

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father if they could discuss his

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

In a small town in alabama, joe bob decides it's time for his cousin, 19 year-old Billy Bob, to learn

# 10 Life is sexually transmitted. # 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and enquired of his father, if they could discuss

FEMALE POEM I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long. One who

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks. 2. No changing your oil in the street. 3.

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity. You are

An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having

Female Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep , I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

A Canadian is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

In a small town in Tennessee, Big Bubba decides it's time for his son, 18 year old Billy Bob, to

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious...

Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

A gentleman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

A DOCTOR at an asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, "I've got

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

Three blondes died and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY, COULD YOU FIX

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for

Three prospective church goers attend a meeting with the clergy of a local church and ask to become

A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon. After several weeks, he notices

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says

A gorilla escapes from the zoo and after 3 weeks, the zoo keepers give up looking for him. Some time

There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem