Jokes
Chick With Long Legs
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and
Rules for Marriage
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady.After the wedding, he laid down the following
Merger of Christmas and Hanukkah
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers
Types of People You'd Meet in a Bathroom
EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot
The Rules
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.
Famous People Say the Darndest Things
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back
50 Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden...
Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited
How to be Annoying in the Computer Lab
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look
Workplace Farting: Options Explored
Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking
Good Sport
At one point during a game, the coach said to one
Relieving Stress in Class
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2.
Bush and Gore, together again
Bush and Gore went fishing. Gore went on one side
Top Ten Reasons For Being English
1. Two World Wars and one World Cup 2. Proper
NOAH's ARK - A Modern Tale
And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm
Super Bowl
A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but
26 Things the Movies Taught You...
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City
The Rules (by Her)
1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE
Gaptooth
The gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know
Deeds vs. Words
There was a long line of souls before the gate
20 Types You Meet in the Men's Room
1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot
The Trouble with Dirty Old Men
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his
50 Things to Do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out
Ten Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced
Mr. Macho
A typical macho man married typical good-looking
Benefits of Being Female
* We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare
Pool Anyone?
Jimmy White walks into a bar and orders a beer,
Havaii or Hawaii
These two persons are discussing whether the state
Big Red
A Russian couple were walking down a street in
Post-Drinking Dry Cleaning
"Bartender, gimme 'nother drink, says a very drunk
Pick-Up Lines That Might Get You Killed
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust
Free Drinks! Free Drinks!
A man in a bar has a couple of beers, and the bartender
The Engineer's Love Life
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
Old Ladies' Noggins
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting
Year 2000 Interview With Jesus
Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet
Man Quiz -- Are You Trained?
As you grow older, what lost
Viagra Worked -- Now Let's Try These...
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer
Are You Ready for Children?
Are you considering having children? To determine
You May Be A Taliban If ...
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, US troops in Afghanistan prove they've retained their sense
Why I Stay Home Nights
A couple got married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when
Intelligence Test
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,
If Airlines Sold Paint
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Results
A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined
Texas Poll
The latest poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas
Pick Up Lines, Part 2
your breasts must think i'm good lookin cause they keep lookin at me. Hey baby, you keep running
Golfing Realities
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, they're sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more. A
A Man and his Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.
Kids Thoughts on Marriage
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.
The Southern Lady
Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
Mental
During a visit to a hospital for the mentally infirm, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion
Ten Husbands
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told
Hockey
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked,
Spanish Lesson
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated
Bathtub
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During
Trailer Park Rules
1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks. 2. No changing your oil in the street. 3.
If Airlines Sold Paint . . .
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Total Eclipse of Communication
From : Managing Director To : Executive Director "Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse
Life's Insights
1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.
Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes
Wisdom Of Homer
THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,
Letter to the IRS
Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.
Pink Ping Pong Balls
A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,
Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent
Going to War
Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President
Blonde Christmas Story
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After
Redneck Church
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
News Just In
PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel
Cops with a Sense of Humor
Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? The following were taken off of actual police car videos
Watch
A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers.
Top 25 things on Martha Stewart's to-do list
25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha
Wife or Mistress
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the
Snow or Rain?
Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his
The answer is C
This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,
Team Spirit
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation
Top 25 Country and Western Songs of All Time
25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But
Taxi Driver
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in
Hospital Trolley
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed
Jesus Meets His Father
Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never
Reasonable Doubt
A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there