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Jokes

Jokes about credit crunch 2008

- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence

Jesus Ceiling Fan

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

Bored During Lunch

Three co-workers are bored during their lunch break, so they decide to go to the roof of their building

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

The Bible for Dummies

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

Corn Hole

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

We take you now to the Oval Office

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:

New Rules For Employment

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

Joe D. Days

A Yankees fan was enjoying himself at the game

Golf Love Poem

I think that I shall never see a hazard rougher

Fall-Down Drunk

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering

The Bar Exam

Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman

Chain Letter for Women Only

This letter was started by a woman, like yourself,

Feels Like a Fanny

Two old friends/enemies who love to take the piss

The Fish-Eating Competition

One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called

The Real Skywalker Lineage

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

The Lion and the Turkey

There once was a lion, whose best friend was a

The Rescue

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge

Duck for Sale

There was once a boy whose father gave him a duck,

People Really Said These Things In Court

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

Close Enough For Government

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was

Clinton and AIDS

Most wives whose husbands fool around have to

My Dog Can Beat Up Your Dog

Once a man walked into a bar and sat down at a

King Arthur's Dilemma

King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade.

Broken Down

Once there was this man whose car broke down.

Penguin and The Mechanic

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down.

Oh, God, Help Me Find A Safe House

There was a young man whose parents beat him all

Cheaper Than a Doctor

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

E-mail Error

It's wise to remember how easily e-mail can be

Bar Joke

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole

Beer Consumption

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer

The Perfect Woman

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?

Creative Writing

A university creative writing class was asked to

Limerick... Man from Cass

There once was a man from Cass. Whose balls

TV's New Fall Season

    NBC 8:00 Friends 8:30

More Alcohol Warnings

If the government is going to put health warning

Clinton's Final State of the Union Address

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

Year 2000 Interview With Jesus

Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet

My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad...

Two kids were having the standard argument about

New FDA Alcohol Warnings for Booze Bottles

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you

Believe It Or Not

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed

Mom and Dad were trying to console Suzie...

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose

Men's Rules

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

Gifts from God

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for

The Trouble With Email

It's wise to remember how easily email can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider

Twelve Priests

welve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row,

Doctor Visit

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to

Laws of the Natural Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch

Love, Lust and Marriage

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room. Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room. Marriage-

A Christmas Greeting

I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to

John the Farmer

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets

Billy Connolly's Chain Letter

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

Mourn the death of another TV star

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

One Stone

There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He

The Prize

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and

Preacher & Children

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked

Mourn the death of another TV star

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

The Teacher's Gift

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's

A Midget Down in Texas

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went

Wackiest Warning Labels Ever

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

Politicians Who Run Our Country

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

Axis of Evil Wannabes

The following story was written by Andrew Marlatt. It first appeared on SatireWire on Feb. 1, 2002

Marriage One Liners

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

Two Men in a LifeBoat

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

Biggest Tool

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy

The ant Hill

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to