windows

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to

A computer walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender looks over at him and says,

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising.

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

What does Saddam and Fred Flintstone have in common?

20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

How is a computer like an air conditioner? When

Two nuns are at a traffic light, when a man starts

What's the difference between a blonde and Windows

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She

One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a

In the realm of the Mighty King Gates who has pulled

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

The world is going to end in three days, so God

Windows 95: 32-bit extensions and a graphical

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to

One night three guys wanted to rob a bank. They

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd

1.Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2.Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3.Press

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego,

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the Windows XP: 1. Enter

Part of Air Canada's recent settlement with the Unions was hiring handicapped people! So, the other

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction. The

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

This year, I resolve to ... 1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3.

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation has reconfirmed its commitment to bringing the "total PC experience"

A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do,FOREVER.!!! B... WINDOWS Woman:

There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks...Rufus and Clarence. They lived

Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy

The local vicar is having a bath, and he's a little bored, so he decides to, 'pleasure' himself. He's

ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.