yesterday

A husband and wife were having breakfast. The husband was ensconced behind his morning paper."You had

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy,

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

A sixteen year old girl went to a priest for confession."Father, I called a guy son of a bitch yesterday.""Why

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the

The Secretary of Defense is briefing President

A blonde is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory.

A man at a retirement home was walking around with

A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.

Saddam Hussein was sitting down wondering who to

At a club, 50 Cent, Britney Spears, and JLO are

A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign

Shaggy,Shania Twain, and Britney Spears go in a

Oil Change instructions for Women: Pull up to

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

Three old men were talking about how much their

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

Three hillbillies are sitting on a porch. One says,

Three nuns were taking a walk one day. ''I was

This letter was started by a woman, like yourself,

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested

Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains

You're so poor that yesterday I saw your mother

One fine sunny morning a man decides to go golfing.

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient:

A pharmacy in my home town was robbed yesterday,

A cop pulls over a drunk driver. The drunk driver

Yesterday I called your brother a fag and he hit

One day, Mrs. James was taking a shower, when suddenly

An old man and an old woman are sitting in a nursing

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

Grandfather and grandson, on a stroll on their

This is actually a true story that happened to

Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out

One day at the rest home, an old man and woman

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out

A shipment of Viagra arrived yesterday at Heathrow

20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's

Two engineering students were walking across campus

Jack comes home from school with a great big smile

A women desperately looking for work goes into

1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2)

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard,

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2)

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on

This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 31. Can you believe it? It seems

That's a bit expensive just for a dare isn't it? I saw a dress just like that one in Woolworths

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.

Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray had always wanted a pair of authentic

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to

I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing and concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings...but this one is real, and it's important. So please

Hillary Clinton is out jogging. she passes a young boy selling puppies. "Buy a puppy Ma'am?"

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. However, every time the kite gets

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says

A guy was walking down the street when he was startled to see a beautiful, young nude girl running

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady truck up a conversation and

Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption,

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation has reconfirmed its commitment to bringing the "total PC experience"

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One

A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him and asks

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

A fellow comes to confession. "Father," he said, "forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asked,

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was

"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their

Two deputies in the Sheriff's Office, one who had been in town for ten years and the other who had

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the

The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session. The mother superior walked out in

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early

A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher: "Morning

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning. "I

A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I'm