young

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

The young man said to his sweetheart,"We're going to have a great time tonight. I have three theater

In a company there's this tai-chi king. His tai-chi has reached the level where even the boss could do

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an

3 Men are walking through the jungle when they are captured by native tribesman. The tribesman take the

A young couple goes to visit an old couple for dinner. The old husband tells his wife "My beloved angel,

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

PPO = Preferred Provider OrganizationHMO = Health Maintenance OrganizationThe Queen of England was visiting

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy

This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant.

There were three priests in a railroad station,

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day

Knock, knock who's there? Orange Orange who?

A zebra went up to the zookeeper and said, "Am

Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman

There were five people on a crashing air plane.

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen

A man at a retirement home was walking around with

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It's

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a

Angelina Jolie: Puckered squid in mammary sauce

Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil

A young punk gets on a bus and sits down in directly

A husband is at home watching a football game when

A gynecologist tired of his profession, and wanting

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

A manager at a General Store is teaching a young,

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

A young mother was having a consultation with a

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview

The Keith Richards: Smoked lungfish on a toasted

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble

A army doctor walked into a room to check on his

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so

George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you

At one point during a game, the coach said to one

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor

Little Jimmy had become a real nuisance while the

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless

A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium:Once

When I was young, I had no sense, Stuck my dick

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm

What's the difference between a young hooker and

A mid 20's bachelor walks into a grocery store

The was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous,

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a

There was this hunk at a trade fair, flashing his

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking

An eighty-year-old man is sitting on a park bench,

Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman

There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar

A virgin boy turns 18, and asks his dad for money

At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.

A young priest is unhappy with how little money

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids

A man's occupation is to stick his cockulation

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is

There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother.

A young man gets sent to jail, and gets put into

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

The Pope walked into a car dealership one day to

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock.

A young boy caught sight of his mother changing

A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to

A young Indian brave goes up to the Chief and says,

There was an older man who'd married a younger

Four people are in an airplane: the president,

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning.

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates,

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

There was a brave with no sexual experience. He

A redneck takes his daughter to the doctor to get

A modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at

The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges,

A young man wished to purchase a present for his

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery

A young man goes home from a war to see his mother

You're only young once, but you can be immature

One evening, a man was at home watching TV and

There was a young man from Calcutta Who spent

What do older women have between their breasts

There once was a young couple who lived in a town

There was a young man from Peru Who fell asleep

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and

Being a huge Elvis fan, a pretty, young woman strolled

An old man and a young man work together in an

One day while at the White House, the maid was

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

A young woman experienced car trouble late one

A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out

Two lesbians walk into a whorehouse and ask for

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was

A guy was riding down the road when he saw a

(which in our society means over 25) An older

A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine

One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through

After an overnight flight to meet my father at

Ma and Pa are sitting out on the front porch one

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids

Mother Superior called a young novice into her

Three men were on a road trip. their car broke

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement

A 14-year-old girl walks into a hairdresser's shop

There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked

A young boy walks into a whore house dragging a

There was a old man sitting on a bench outside

Once there was a substitute teacher taking over

This old guy goes into a church in a small town

There was this virgin that was going out on a date

A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing

A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says

Once there lived a mother who had two sons who

'Q: What did the Car seat say to the young bull?

A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after

A prostitute on the street was approached by a

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part

There was a young man whose parents beat him all

Q: What has an old lady got between her breasts

A young woman walks into an adult book store and

* We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare

A young man fell in a pit one day and found a magic

A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks

Men are like a fine grape. They are best kept

Two guys both have 9 a.m. appointments at a vasectomy

A young boy took his bag of M&M's, grabbed the

20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always

A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs

What were Bill Clinton's Final Four picks?

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful

A young, innocent couple got married. On the first

A young boy walks in on his mother in the bathtub.

Grandfather and grandson, on a stroll on their

A young man is at a bus stop in New York. He sees

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

One night, a cabbie was driving through the streets

Once there was a farmer with three sons. One day

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to

A young man joined the Army and signed up with

A nurse was on duty in the emergency department,

A young boy of four was going into hospital to

This is actually a true story that happened to

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

A young priest was visting a convent. One day he

A young deaf-mute couple got married. At first

A couple has just finished having sex. They ALWAYS

A little boy was playing in his sandbox when the

"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor

A young fellow walks into a bar. An old crotchety

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

The young fellow was about to be married and was

A young girl hadn't been feeling well, so she went

A young Irish lad had fallen in love with a girl

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

A haggard old lady is riding in a posh hotel's

1) You can GET chocolate. 2) “If you love

A security man has a dream that the plane his boss

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

There was a young country boy who was very bright.

A father has three daughters that are all getting

When an attractive young girl returned from her

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon.

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins

In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley

    An elderly woman entered a large

A couple took their young son for his first visit

A young woman with small breasts buys a finely carved

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,

At a southern university, students in the psychology

A panda walks into a bar. He sits down, and asks

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

Some pretty 'useful' phrases you, too, can use

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

An old man from a far off land was once on the

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the

A young couple were married and they were having

A young blonde stock broker was bored with her

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married

A young lady was standing in front of a shoe store

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Two young guys were picked up

A young man sits down at a bar. "What can I get

    A young reporter once covered

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

A little old lady was sitting on her front porch

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

    This is from a contest on Long

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten,

The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote

In Scotland, the most important time for a young

    William and Mildred were married

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed

    Yes, it's hard to believe, but

This should be sung to the tune "A Few of

    A young man just got a new job

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his

    One day a hunter was walking

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and

Ã, Ã, Ã,  A teenage boy and his grandfather

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner.

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters

Two church members were going door to door, and

A young Bulgarian peasant girl of fourteen went

    A sixty-four-year-old man is

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Reaching the end of a job interview,

A young female teacher was giving an assignment

Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good

Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday

A Scottish old timer is talking to a young man

A young punk gets on the cross-town bus. He's got

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength.

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged man were sitting. The girl looks

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave

A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin, and truth be told he's a virgin too, but she

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

An old man was in his golden years, but that didn't stop him from trying to pick up the younger ladies. He

A brash young man strolls into a bar and takes a seat next to a stunningly attractive woman. He gives

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old.

A banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden,

A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it,

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

A young girl from Ireland leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home

A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

Two young boys walk into a pharmacy one day, pick out a box of Tampax and proceed to the checkout counter.

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father if they could discuss his

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed,

A young man got a license to trap furs for the winter in Alaska. After buying supplies in a local town

When young Jose, newly arrived in the United States, made his first trip to Yankee Stadium, there were

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide. The

A young Southern couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey. As they

Running Doe, a young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may

Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with

A very disheveled, unattractive, profoundly obese, smelly, mean acting, nasty in EVERY sense of the

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little

A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right,"

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and enquired of his father, if they could discuss

A woman went to the doctor's office and was seen by one of the new young doctors. After about four

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says,

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch,

An older Jewish man married a younger woman. After several months, the young woman complained that

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the

A young girl on a year's training course in South Africa recently received a "Dear John" letter from her

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife

Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. You don't care

Hillary Clinton is out jogging. she passes a young boy selling puppies. "Buy a puppy Ma'am?"

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything-under-one-roof" department

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?" Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day

Useful phrases when dealing with the general population. Try to incorporate these into your conversations

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back,

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,

A guy was walking down the street when he was startled to see a beautiful, young nude girl running

A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to

Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't

There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When

A Man And A Young Beautiful Woman Are Engaging In A "Romantic Affair" In The Lovely Young Womans Bedroom.

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired

A college student challenged a senior citizen, saying, "It is impossible for your generation to understand

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first guy says to the second

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t . 2. I don't know what your

A little boy was playing with a worm one day at his grandpa's house. Grandpa jokingly tells the young

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally

A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession.

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come

Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and

One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised,

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal

A husband and wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club when this

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

The chief of staff of the US Army decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years and in the back forty it had a nice pond,

A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's

"Grandma, how long have you and Grandpa been married?" asked young Nina. "Fifty years," Grandma

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid

A doctor was walking down the street one day when he noticed coming towards him one of his 85 year

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with

Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey --

A young couple had been married for a couple of months, but the man was always after his wife to quit

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing

Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation came around to last night's big date. "So,

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed

A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the son sees the shelf of condoms and asks his father

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

The neighbour dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells

This farmer had an old rooster and he thought it might be time to get a new young rooster to service

This hillbilly kid goes into a drugstore and asks the druggist for a box of condoms. The druggist

Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. "Hear

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one

A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee and sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training,

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out

An 8-year-old girl asks her father, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father is somewhat surprised that she

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

One day a nice young couple were on their way to the Justice of the Peace to get married. They had

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your

In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in the main rectory. That is reserved for the

The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsy," one child answers. "And

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY, COULD YOU FIX

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she

A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl,

A gorgeous young woman gets into a taxi one day. On the way, the cabby asks her, "Hey baby, would

A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the

Through the center of Czechoslovakia there's a train speeding along. In one compartment of the train

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

It was the annual homecoming dance at the local high school gym. Most of the young folk were out on

This young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

A brunette went to the doctors. "Doctor," she said. "Help me. I hurt all over." "Sit down," said

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old

A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same

Three prospective church goers attend a meeting with the clergy of a local church and ask to become

A young lady whom thought she was overweight went to see a dietician. She walked into his office and

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents. He was quite nervous about

The moon shone silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were

A boy takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to

A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

A redneck farmer was disturbed when he found out his son was masturbating several times a day out in

A young lady stops by her grandmother's house on the way to a dance. She wants to introduce her boy

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off;

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation,

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby

A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father

A young wanna-be stud is vactioning alone in Hawaii. He hits the beach, hoping to meet some young

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well